Can A Couple Survive Infidelity? Why did the affair happen? Is what I’m feeling normal? Should I stay or leave? How do we rebuild our life together? Will I ever be able to trust him/her again?
As a Couples Therapist who has been helping distressed couples for over 15 years, I say the answer is Yes provided each of you is willing to look honestly at yourself and at your partner, and acquire the skills you need to see yourself through this shattering crisis. You are not alone. One in every 2.7 couples (some 20 million) in the U.S. is touched by infidelity.
Don’t Let Anyone Judge The Way You Handle The News About Your Partner’s Affair
Every relationship is different and shouldn’t be compared to others. Loved ones come to your aid with unsolicited advice that may not be right for you and your family. Although they mean well they don’t know the details involved and don’t always understand the circumstances unique to each couple.
The aftermath of an affair shatters even the strongest relationship leaving you with feelings of betrayal, rejection, fear, grief, loss of trust, guilt and anger. It can be a deathblow to a relationship as it rocks a person’s sense of self.
Separation doesn’t always have to be the outcome. Establishing a new relationship and developing a New Monogamy agreement between the two of you can be the alternative. This is the time to rebuild, to commit yourself to a lifetime of renewal, to allow yourself to feel hopeful about your future together. This is a time to channel your energy into creating something new, something better than what you had before.
This trauma isn't necessarily the breakdown but can be the transformation of the relationship. It is possible to rebuild trust and intimacy after an affair. Reacting to the affair, Reviewing your options and Recovering from the affair are what we talk about in Couples counseling. This process will enable you to make a thoughtful and informed decision about whether or not your relationship can be repaired and how to go about doing it.
If you’re going through the pain, confusion, and anger of an infidelity, I can help you cope with the raging emotions, make a thoughtful decision about your future, and, if you choose to recommit, reclaim a life together.
You don’t have to suffer through this alone. I help couples work through the pain of disconnection or betrayal. Together we make sense of the hurt, anger and feelings of rejection and begin to restore a more trusting and honest connection.
If you're struggling with wondering if you should stay “in” or “leave” your relationship please call me at (858) 735.1139. I can help you with options to make the right decision for you and your family.