3 Tips To Get Your Spouse To Like You More. Needless to say we all love our spouses but can we with all honesty say we like them most of the time? Of course, we want to like them. In order to like someone you have to be able to connect with them. You know how women tend to go on and on about their conversations. Men look at this and wonder how they do it. We can get together with one girlfriend or a group of friends and talk for hours. That’s why women get together with their girlfriends regularly for drinks, Bunco games, children’s playgroups, etc, so they can not only get the social interaction they want, but also receive the validation they need. When talking to our husbands they don’t always know how to talk our language. I call it the language of “Female.” Just like there is a language of “Male” there is a way to speak Female.
3 Tips To Get Your Spouse To Like You More. Here are 3 sure fire tips for making an immediate connection the next time you talk to your wife:
1. Exercise Reflective Listening – when she talks about her day or whatever comes out of her mouth repeat back what she shared. Another way is to mirror back exactly what she said. This shows you are paying attention to what she is talking about.
2. Validate her – Tell her that what she is talking about makes sense and that knowing her the way you do you can see why she is thinking and feeling the way she does. This lets her know you “get her” and understand where she’s coming from. She will really appreciate this.
3. Show Empathy – Empathy is understanding the feelings of others. You want to be able to communicate to her you can see what she is talking about through her perspective. You want to say, “I can imagine how you must feel about….”
When you implement this process of communicating you will gain your wife’s attention and she will engage in further conversation with you. With the feelings of connectedness and validation a deeper level of intimacy will be created. This is a process so don’t expect it to happen overnight. Just like everything else practice makes for improvement and results.
In turn women are encouraged to utilize these 3 tips to positively reinforce their husbands efforts:
1. Show Thankfulness – Thank him for listening and validating you while talking to him. Thank him throughout the week for all the good things he does for you and your family.
2. Show Appreciation – Tell him you appreciate his efforts in active listening while engaging in conversation with you as you feel more connected to him.
3. Implement Steps (1 – 3) when talking to him, as well.
In acquiring new tools to enhance communication we tend to say we will practice them when in real life we tend to go back to what is familiar and comfortable. If we don’t put to use what we know will help in the way we speak to one another we shouldn’t become upset about the outcome of where our relationship might be headed.
For more information about how to effectively communicate and deepen your level of intimacy please call me at (858) 735-1139 or email me at Sarah@CouplesCounselorSanDiego.com