It seems everywhere you turn someone you know is having an affair. I bet you claimed you would never cheat on your partner, right? Who intentionally gets into a relationship and then decides to cheat? It’s devastating to be on either end of that situation as the guilt and betrayal can be overwhelming. It can take up to two years or more for a couple to repair the effects of an affair so wouldn’t it be in everybody’s best interest to prevent one?
Putting the following into practice could prevent the downfall of any relationship:
1. Be the Mature Person you need to be – A person who is independent within an interdependent relationship makes for a less needy individual. A less needy individual makes for a more attractive partner.
2. Don’t ignore your spouse’s complaints – Listen to and acknowledge their discomfort about housework, money, in-laws, etc., whether you agree or disagree. It’s important they feel heard.
3. Be Honest – I’m talking about when you feel an attraction for someone else share that with your partner and talk about the feelings around it. It’s perfectly normal to fantasize about other people but can be dangerous if acted out. Telling your partner before something actually happens is less disastrous and painful than having to deal with the consequences of an actual betrayal (affair).
4. Show Appreciation – Telling your partner everyday that you appreciate something they have done for you or how they look in appearance is very endearing contrary to any criticisms.
5. Tell your partner what you want – Women tend to think men can read their minds, well they can’t. You need to tell each other what you want. How you want your coffee in the morning or what you’d like in bed. Being open is part of being communicative.
6. Have lots of Sex – (or an agreed upon amount between the two of you); when there is a physical connection often times there is an emotional connection. When you make the space for your sex you hold your relationship in high regard and validate your partnership in a loving way. It is during these encounters where sharing honesty and being communicative about your wants and desires that protect you from other people who can come between you and your partner.
7. Develop a Monogamy Agreement that is ideal for your relationship. (see http://erelationshipadvicecafe.com/the-new-monogamy)
Continue talking to each other about what works in your relationship and what doesn’t. Every relationship is unique to its own developed agreement. If you put into practice what you agree upon your relationship should be safe from others trying to infiltrate it.