It’s different for everyone for things to begin to feel at normal again. For most of us, depending on the length and the nature of our previous relationship, it will take some time to readjust. This is a wonderful and precious opportunity to find out who you are as an unattached individual. Being that you are on the rebound it is not wise to get involved in another relationship hastily. To attach yourself prematurely in a love relationship is unfair to you and to the other person. You must deal with important personal issues when your previous love relationship comes to an end. Living through the transition and exploring these issues can be painful – and falling in love again may seem like the perfect way to end the pain. But if you attach yourself again too quickly before you have a chance to explore the issues which led to your breakup and to start to feel comfortable again as a single and independent individual, the other person becomes a replacement object, and that is not what a healthy relationship is about. You will probably carry into this replacement relationship the same issues that helped to lead to the demise of your former relationship – and similar events may very well happen again. Your real goal is to discover who you are and to explore what happened. When you are at the point of being able to have a happy and fulfilled life as a single person, then you can choose when, or even if, you should involve yourself in another love relationship. When you know that you have that choice, you may be ready. I help individuals and couples who have broken up, with this process in therapy.
In Couples Counseling the goal is to discover who you are and to explore what happened. As a Marriage Counselor, I help individuals and couples who have broken up, with this process in therapy. In a previous Blog article, I talk about the ME and We in relationships. If you would like to know more about working on personal issues as they do effect relationship issues, please call me at (858) 735-1139. I can help you sort out what you need to know about what is contributing to your relationship.