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How To Pop The Question – Will You Marry Me?

How To Pop The Question.  Will You Marry Me?  Proposals have become quite the “thing” these days.  You can go too big or too small with the ask.  Depending on how you see it, if you go too big, your bride-to-be can become panicked and overwhelmed or elated, or you can go too small and she thinks you turned a once-in-a-lifetime moment into the equivalent of an ordinary day in the life.  There could be a just right “middle of the ground” way that may help the pop the question experience memorable and romantic at the same time.  Proposals are hard.  Some helpful tips from GQ author Siobhan Rosen (pseudonym name) include:

1.   Know the answer before you ask. – The proposal shouldn’t be a complete surprise.  It’s actually rude if you don’t know the answer.

2.   Reconsider the “Big Fancy Meal Strategy.” – Being really full after a meal and possible heavy drinking does not make for an ideal situation as digestion problems can create not in the mood feelings and can lead to lethargy.

3.   Practice makes perfect. – There is no shame in writing down what you want to say and practicing it in front of a mirror.  Nervousness can be cute, but bumbling idiot is unbecoming and doesn’t exude that you are super certain about this.

4.   Presenting the Ring in a Box, not a sundae, – People still do this thinking it is very cute.  On the contrary it can be very dangerous in that she can accidentally swallow the ring and a larger issue could occur in that she can choke.  Rings are very nice and expensive jewelry and should be presented in a glorifying manner.  A ring box does that.

5.   Also: Do not attach the Ring to a live animal. – Attaching a ring onto a necklace then attaching it onto animals can make for lost jewelry.

6.   Marriage proposals are not pranks – Some men go around the office throwing out marriage proposals like they were daily compliments or jokes to make the gal or themselves feel good.  Don’t make the love of your life the butt of a big fat joke.  When you propose it’s not about you so practical jokes are not appreciated.  Psychotherapist could say joking may represent a deflection or hesitation of some real fear or resistance to really wanting to go through with the proposal.

7.   Do not upload your oh-so-clever proposal on YouTube. – Please don’t do this!

8.   A humble suggestion: Do it after you do it – postcoital ask can be sweet and intimate especially after a session of great sex.

9.   But don’t do it while you’re doing it – focus on one thing at a time

10.  The most important Rule of all:  Ask her the way she’d like to be asked. – If you’re going to be married to her for the next 50 years knowing what she likes is going to be your job.  The better you get at it the happier your relationship.

Will You Marry Me?

If you’ve decided you’re madly in love and want to take that next step into the rest of your long adult life it would be good to talk about the pros and cons to marital bliss.  If you have a strategy in mind and need a third person to talk it through with please give me a call at (858) 735-1139 or email me at Sarah@CouplesCounselorSanDiego.com and I would be happy to give you a professional, as well as personal perspective on how it may go down.