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Relationships And The New Year 2017

Relationships And The New Year 2017.  With every New Year, there tends to be a New Year’s resolution.  As a Marriage Counselor, the New Year brings in couples who are either ending their relationships or couples who are starting new ones. The past year gave those ending their relationship a chance to think about whether or not they could or even wanted to stay with their partner.  Those that are starting new relationships like coming into counseling to ensure they are putting forth their best efforts into making a healthy relationship.

New Year 2017
As a Marriage Counselor, I help couples nurture good relationships and let go of unhealthy ones. We may love our family members, but, there are some we just don’t like and feel good to be around.  Friends who take advantage of and manipulate us aren’t really our friends.  Toxic people create a bitter atmosphere that is not conducive a happy disposition.  I help individuals acquire the skills for self-care and teach others how to behave around them.  Without tools for teaching others how to appropriately behave around us, how can real change occur for those who display poor behavior towards us? Asserting oneself is not always easy, but in the long run, can indicate self-love and help you feel more in control of your life.

The New Year brings about the end of relationships for some couples and the beginning for others.

The difference between a healthy relationship and an unhealthy relationship is how well each person accepts responsibility and the willingness of each person to both reject and be rejected by their partner. (Mark Manson)

Stylish young couple fighting over luggage and playing tug of war with a large suitcase on an urban street

In unhealthy relationships, two people try to solve each other’s problems in order to feel good about themselves.  A healthy relationship is when two people solve their own problems in order to feel good about each other.  Unhealthy relationships have poor boundaries.  Boundaries mean the delineation between two people’s responsibilities for their own problems.  Individuals in unhealthy relationships with poor or no boundaries will regularly avoid responsibility for their own problems and take responsibility for their partner’s problems.

Couple with unpacked boxes in new home

Healthy relationships consist of both partners being willing and able to say no to one another.  Without being able to say “no” or the occasional rejection, boundaries break down and one person’s problems and values come to dominate the other’s. Conflict is normal in healthy relationships and being conflict avoidant; not being able to hash out differences openly and vocally is a sure way for a relationship to deteriorate as it is based on manipulation and misrepresentation.  Trust is also very important in any relationship.  Healthy relationships experience conflict. Without it, there can be no trust.  Conflict exists to show us who is there for us unconditionally and who is just there for the benefits.

If you have recently broken off an important relationship and are experiencing grief and loss or need help maintaining a new relationship as we enter this New Year please contact at (858) 735-1139 or email me at CouplesCounselorSanDiego.com to make sure you get the proper guidance to lead you to the maximum results.