Sex After 50. As we grow older it becomes a bit more difficult to keep things hot in the bedroom. I for one, can personally relate. If you’v been married to the same partner for a long period of time it becomes even more of a challenge. As a Marriage Counselor I see older couples who present with sexual intimacy struggles. After ruling out any medical problems I assess what their communication with each other is like. Great sex usually comes hand in hand with being able to share thoughts and feelings with each other and taking risks in being vulnerable (susceptible to emotional hurt). Study after study shows that high relationship satisfaction is likely to increase both desire for sex and orgasmic response. That being said here are ways I keep things hot in the bedroom.
1. First of all, there is no shame in taking Viagra or Cialis to enhance an erection.
2. Schedule a Sex Date – carve out and honor the time; set the mood; create the space.
3. Travel – Romantic travel can be an Aphrodisiac. A 3-day weekend getaway can be exciting because being in another place under different circumstances creates novelty and a change in behavior follows.
3. Set the mood – Add a dimmer switch to a bedroom light. Part of sexual allure is looking and feeling beautiful; a dimmer achieves both. Light candles and incense. Put on some soft music. Have a romantic beverage of choice bedside.
4. Talk about a fantasy – you don’t have to act it out but go into details. Talking about it can get you aroused.
5. Sex Videos and books – in the same vein learning some new techniques are helpful tips and can be a turn-on, as well. Suggested sites: sinclairinstitute.com and Evesgarden.com; suggested books: The Joy of Sex (The Ultimate Revised Edition) and Guide To Getting It On (offers detailed instructions on and drawings of, various options).
Every study that I’ve read that links between sexuality and health finds sexual behavior highly correlated to overall happiness and health. I find when I’m not emotionally connecting with my spouse we don’t physically connect. When we don’t physically connect it makes emotionally connecting even more difficult. Before you know it you’re in a vicious cycle living separate lives wondering why you’re so angry all the time.
Nonetheless, whatever your age, if you are having problems with your sex life Marriage/Couples Counseling may be worth trying to fix them. No time of life is without its difficulties. Many 50-plus couples are having the most rewarding and pleasurable sex of their lives. Don’t you want to be one of them?
Call at (8587) 735-1139 let’s get that conversation started.