This is not a normal Date Night where you go out to dinner and have a couple glasses of wine. Usually after a night like that you come home full and just want to go to sleep. Make a date with your partner for SEX. Sex dates are an important part of creating spontaneity and special time with your partner so scheduling a weekly date shows that the relationship is important.
When the date night arrives know that you will have some type of Sexual Contact, even if you don’t feel like it at the moment. Sometimes arousal comes before desire….don’t wait for the desire to hit. You are creating the environment where desire can flourish once it is aroused. Sexual contact can mean a lot of different things. Laying naked together, soft touching, massage, or pleasure through touching your own body while your partner watches are all erotic connections.
Leading up to the date make sure you put effort into preparing for your special night. Starting about four days prior to the Sex date use small acts to help create anticipation for the big night. For example, show your partner physical affection at least three times the first day. Attempt to connect on the second day by whispering in your partner’s ear the things you want to do to him or her on your Sex date. On the third day bring home a surprise like a card or small token gift you can use for the date. The fourth day is the important day so create an atmosphere in the bedroom that will remind both of you that this is a sacred and erotic space for you to play safely in together. Light candles, put fresh flowers by the bed, put soft sheets and blankets on the bed. Make extra effort to pick music your partner will like.
When the big night finally arrives keep your expectations open and reasonable. If the evening goes well then wonderful. If it doesn’t live up to your expectations, remember that this night can be anything that works for you and makes you feel connected to one another. Massage, communication, and sharing fantasies can make this an important night of Sensual Pleasures.
In Couples Counseling I help Couples with specific exercises in preparing for their Sex Date nights utilizing techniques from Tammy Nelson’s Book “Getting The Love You Want.” As a Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert I have found that incorporating Sex Dates in Couples Therapy help the Couples I work with rekindle their desire for one another. For more information please contact me at (858) 735-1139.