Sex on the Beach Isn't just a Cocktail for my Couples

Developing A Greater Sense of Self

Developing A Greater Sense of Self.  When establishing a romantic relationship looking for a partner should ENHANCE you not COMPLETE you.  I never liked that saying in the Jerry McGuire movie as I believed it set women back years.  No one person completes another who has a sense of self.  Growing up as the eldest … Read more

Happy Polyamorous Valentine’s Day

Happy Polyamorous Valentine’s Day.  Some of you may want to know what the heck that means.  Others may want to know how to have a successful Valentine’s Day as they are in a polyamorous or polysexual relationship.  Valentine’s Day is stressful enough for single people and people in monogamous relationships.  When you are poly it … Read more

The Other Woman

The Other Woman is also known as the “Mistress.”  The profile of the “Other Woman” is not what Hollywood depicts on the big screen.  They aren’t the gorgeous, hot and sexy model types who have supernatural ways of preying on vulnerable men who would never have strayed were he not lured into it.  She’s not some … Read more

What You Might Not Know About Affair Recovery

What You Might Not Know About Affair Recovery.  You might not know this, but affair recovery isn’t just saying, “Honey, I swear I’ll never do it again.” Or “I’ll do whatever it takes to make this up to you.”  Then do nothing behaviorally afterward where you demonstrate an adjustment that backs up that statement.  As … Read more

Ringing In The New Year With A New Monogamy

Ringing In The New Year With A New Monogamy.  What exactly is a New Monogamy?  Monogamy is defined as the practice or state of being married to one person at a time or having a sexual relationship with only one partner.  Some literature on affair recovery suggests that infidelity is a symptom of some fundamental … Read more

Managing Holiday Stress – A Smile Can Get You Everywhere

Managing Holiday Stress – A Smile Can Get You Everywhere.  As we enter the month of November I start to think about Thanksgiving and everything I’m thankful for.  As a Marriage Counselor, I see a range of couples from eternally happy wanting to continue to keep their relationship in check to those who are constantly … Read more

The Masks We Hide Behind

The Masks We Hide Behind. Do You Hide Behind A Pseudo Self?  We all have a true self or a false self also known as a pseudo self. Carl Jung the Swiss Psychiatrist and Psychoanalyst define Personas as the mask or shield which a person places between himself and the people around him.  In honor … Read more

The “I’m Not In Love With You” Statement

The I love you, but, “I’m Not In Love With You” Statement.  Couples often come into Marriage Counseling with many different reasons why they don’t get along. Communication is a big issue as most people are unable to say what they need to say to one another.  They could be conflict avoidant, meaning rather than … Read more

Different Kinds Of Affairs

Different Kinds Of Affairs.  As a Marriage and Family Therapist and Affair Recovery Specialist, I am often asked why people have affairs.  There is no one size fits all answer to that question.  There are many different reasons people have affairs. The impact on the lives of those who practice infidelity is huge.  It violates … Read more

The Pain Of Infidelity

The Pain Of Infidelity.  The single most destructive threat to committed relationships in San Diego and throughout the entire world is when one of the partners engages in a sexual relationship with another person. This is not an uncommon event. Conservative estimates suggest that about a quarter of women, and a third of men, have … Read more