Dr. Laura Schlessinger wrote this New York Times Bestseller back in 1998 and still applies. The word ‘stupid’ defines the behavior, not the person just so no one is offended. Ten Stupid Things Men Do To Mess Up Their Lives:
1. Stupid Chivalry – By getting involved with the wrong woman (weak, flaky, damaged, needy, desperate, stupid, untrustworthy, and immature), you think your love will save/transform her.
2. Stupid Independence – Unwilling to admit “need” for bonding and intimacy, you hide in execesses of work, play, drink, drugs, porn, and meaningless sex.
3. Stupid Ambition – Unable to comfortably and proudly accept your inherent importance to society and family as husband and father, you bow to the false idols of money, toys, power and status.
4. Stupid Strength – Uncomfortable with feeling, vulnerable, useless, powerless, or rejected, you use intimidation, force, or passive-aggressiveness to regain control.
5. Stupid Sex – Taking an attraction, opportunity, or erection as a “sign” you measure your masculinity and power by sexual conquests, infidelities, and orgasms.
6. Stupid Matrimony – Lacking a mature sense of the purpose, meaning or value of marriage, you realize too late you’ve gone down the aisle with the wrong woman for the wrong reasons and feel helpless to “fix it.”
7. Stupid Husbanding – Thinking that marriage is the honorable discharge from loving courtship, you continue to life as though you were single and your “mommy-wife” will take care of everything else.
8. Stupid Parenting – Believing that only women/mothers nurture children, you withdraw from hands-on parenting to assert your masculine importance, missing out on the true “soul food” of a child’s hug.
9. Stupid Boyishness – Having not yet worked out a comfortable emotional and social understanding with your mothe, you form relationships with women that become geared to average, resolve, or protect you from your ties to Mommy.
10. Understanding the true and meaningful difference between being male and a man, you can become a man.
In my work with Men in Counseling and Situational Coaching the goal is to acquire the knowledge and know how when meeting and interacting with women so as to prevent an epic fail. When you have the know how to select the appropriate person for your life partner you can rest assure you won’t be exercising any of the above behaviors.
Call me at (858) 735-1139 so you can learn what is needed to get started.