Are You A Woman Of Substance? “A woman of substance is not only a woman of independent means but an individual who manages her inner child appropriately.”- Sarah Ruggera There is a level of developmental maturity in both professional and personal life. Chronological age does not necessarily mean you show up in a mature manner when things get tough. On the contrary, you can be 50 years old and act like a 7 year old when you don’t get what you want.
When raising daughters it’s important to teach them that developing a sense of self is the most important thing she can do for herself. Secondly, it’s important for women to maintain that sense of self so she has good boundaries to meet her needs, as well as the needs of others she cares about. As women we are socialized to be the caretaker, homemaker, default parent, etc. If we choose to have a career it somehow adds stress to the harmony of a household. The professional women I work with who bring in substantial resources say they feel like they are doing everything to keep the family homeostasis. Some woman lose their sense of self (identity) when they couple up with a partner who is still stuck in the 2oth Century. The new rules for marriage are quite different in the 21st Century as there is more equitability between the sexes. Both in the job market and at home. Relationships come with an expectation of being less transactional and more emotional. Being companions is elevated to wanting more than meeting goals. Emotional connectedness is a big part of couples being able to choose to grow old together.
Are You A Woman Of Substance?
In past generations, women married for security, having children, and maintaining the household. Men married for procreation, as well, having a partner to caretake the family household, and sex. This sounds chauvanistic, however, past generations were brought up in a Patriarchy society where women were once considered property.
A woman of substance conducts herself with:
Awareness that life consists of more than money
A woman of substance possesses virtues that make others around her notice that she is not shallow
Knowledge is empowerment. Besides virtue and other character qualities, a woman of substance has knowledge. This does not mean just knowledge about makeup or hairstyles, but knowledge about subjects of interest to others. A woman of substance will educate herself fully about current issues. She will know about crises and concerns within her city, state and nation. She will want to take action to do all she can to help, whether by writing a letter to the editor or running for office. She will be aware of and participate in the political process.
A woman of substance has an independent life outside of her interdependent relationship. Her happiness is not entirely wrapped up in her job or her significant other/husband. She finds enjoyment in hobbies such as reading, writing or sports. She enjoys nights out with friends who share her same interests.
A woman of substance values her family highly. She cares about building a firm relationship with her husband if she is married, not a shallow relationship based on first-attraction feelings. She knows that love is built through the challenging and good times, and she does not quit when things get rough. Her children respect her for her kindness and firmness. She tries to spend time with her children and be there for their school and extracurricular activities. But never puts all her energy in one particular interest. There is work/life balance