Ashley Madison Clients – Disclosure vs. Discovery. With over 36 million users it was no surprise to me when during the past few weeks couples have come into my office with stress and anxiety due to the latest and ongoing Ashley Madison scandal hacks. With more and more names being exposed recent clientele state they have admitted to their wives they have been on Ashley Madison and other cheating sites. They said they didn’t want to have their wives find out on their own believing the ramifications would be worse.
Sam, who recently became a new father, came in with his wife of 5 years. He had been looking at porn all his adult life and realized his interest in sex had been escalating. He had started communicating with women in chat rooms and eventually became a member of cheating websites. He didn’t actually have physical affairs (not minimizing this in the least), but the emotional connection damaged his relationship with his wife as the intimacy was shared and given to another person. He admitted he was cheating online and was regretful and remorseful.
As a Marriage Counselor specializing in Affair Recovery I acknowledged his commitment to wanting to repair his wrongdoing. In Marriage Counseling we are developing a Moving Forward Plan where Sam’s behavior will become more transparent and forthcoming about his feelings so that his wife can redevelop trust. Regaining trust is a process of following through with what you say or do and not becoming defensive when your wife brings something to your attention that is difficult to hear. Showing empathy for her feelings rather than justifying yours is a very good place to start.
For more information on Affair Recovery and bringing back trust into your relationship please contact me at (858) 735-1139.