Asperger Diagnosis. Get past the diagnosis & improve your marriage. There’s a ton of information about Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Asperger’s, and Neurodiverse Relationships.We have a better understanding about Spectrum and spectrum relationships, but what do we do about the challenges they present? Asperger marriages aka neurodiverse relationships, are where one or both partners are on the autism spectrum. As a Certified Neurodiverse Couples Counselor, I have specific training working with couples who include a husband with Asperger’s (AS) and the wife who is neurotypical (NT). I make assessments and recommendations through a neurological lens. Because neurology matters, neurological differences effect how each processes information. Acquiring tools and putting a process in place to communicate effectively is essential to the couple’s ability to move forward.
So how do we crack the communication code? Without the right tools each partner in the neurodiverse marriage can feel unheard or misunderstood by their significant other. Each speaks different languages so it’s important to know how to 1) initiate conversation, 2) share thoughts and feelings, and 3) ask for what you need and want. As I am married to an Asperger husband, I have developed tools and put systems in place to move forward so both of us feel seen and heard.
As a certified neurodiverse couples counselor, I don’t need a diagnosis to work with my couples. In fact, I find labeling a person with Asperger’s can make a person feel stigmatized or damaged. We’re all on the Spectrum to some degree. Rather than say one partner is the “identified patient” I concentrate on helping both become more communicative and relational. Feeling an emotional connectedness is the desired outcome. Perfection isn’t the goal. Good enough make for long term happiness.
There is currently no specific test or diagnostic criteria for diagnosing Asperger’s in adults. The Autism/Asperger Network (AANE) offers information about a profile that may be helpful to validate suspicion and observed behaviors indicative to Asperger’s. Minors tend to need a diagnosis or evaluation to receive resources for home and school life.
So rather than spend your time and energy trying to get a diagnosis, put your resources into finding a neurodiverse couples counselor/coach who knows what they’re doing so you both can get the life you set out to achieve.
For more information or to set up an appointment call me at (858) 735-1139 or visit CouplesCounselorSanDiego.com