Asperger Husbands Can Make Good Partners

Asperger Husbands Can Make Good Partners. Marriages or partnerships with a person on the Autism Spectrum (AS) are often very challenging, with mental health challenges for both members of the relationship, for their children, and for extended family. Neurotypical women (NT) may appreciate that her AS partner marches to a different tune and does not exhibit some of the negative social or interpersonal attributes that she may have encountered in other potential partners or previous ones. Women may be attracted to men with AS because they appear safe, are highly intelligent, gentle, appreciative, interesting, creative, well read, unusual, quirky, and loyal.

Asperger husband in IT profession
Asperger Husbands Can Make Good Partners

As a certified neurodiverse couples counselor/coach, I tend to see couples who present with neurodiversity at its worst. Couples come in complaining about communication, lack of emotional connection, and time management to name of few. There are many strengths that enable an AS man to be highly functional. Because an AS husband and NT wife speak different languages neurology matters. I work with my couples through a neurological lens or Asperger profile. Traditional marriage counseling is not effective and can sometimes be detrimental to moving forward.

Strengths include:

According to Myhill and Jekel of Asperger Association of New England (AANE), people with ASD can be good partners. The women’s choice to marry someone with AS is not intrinsically a bad one. Some women aren’t aware they are entering into a neurodiverse relationship until enough time goes by where they notice communication is more transactional than relational. The women are often the ones who seek help as they are confused and don’t understand why their relationship seems different than others’. With the appropriate resources Asperger marriages can be just as rewarding and fulfilling as other happy marriages. Yes, there is work to be done, but just like anything else, if you do the work it should pay off. With putting systems in place, acquiring relational tools, and implementing the process you can have the relationship you want. All marriages have challenges. If two people who care about one another truly want to move forward, they can.

I am married to a man with Asperger’s. My Asperger marriage will continue to have its challenges. We are grateful for what we have learned to be able to say our marriage works for us. I look forward to working with neurodiverse couples because I know firsthand of the many challenges. I also know every couple has their strengths and I help them look for them.

If you would like more information about moving forward in your Asperger marriage please contact me at (858) 735-1139 or visit my website CouplesCounselorSanDiego.com

 

 

 

Top 3 Marriage Counselors in San Diego, California

Top 3 Marriage Counselors in San Diego, California. Three Best Rated four years in a row.

“Sarah is by far the most effective therapist we’ve been to see. She offers a couples intensive where we received tools needed to better our communication and feel more emotionally connected to one another. Her book is another resource that helps us stay on track. Sarah is real and tells it like it is. Thank you for what you do.” – J & S Del Mar

Sarah Ruggera, M.A., LMFT Helping People Who Ask The Question….”Should I Stay Or Should I Go?” Sarah is a licensed marriage and family therapist working with individuals, couples and families. She specializes in Affair Recovery and Neurodiverse Couples. Her expertise includes psychotherapy and coaching to help people in the decision making process. Important decisions should never be made impulsively or haphazardly. Sarah Ruggera helps her clients make informed thoughtful decisions.

Happy Me Happy We

Not all marriage counselors are the same. She is different because she offers extended sessions that include her 3-hour Couples Intensive. Designed to create dramatic and long lasting shifts in your relationship where you acquire valuable tools needed to move forward. In this one session counseling venue couples will learn to make implicit assumptions and agreements explicit so that each partner knows exactly what is expected from one another. Couples intensives are designed for those who can’t attend weekly sessions, have childcare challenges, and busy schedules receiving results sooner rather than later.

Talk to Sarah Ruggera to find out if her work can get you what you want out of your relationship. Call her at (858) 735-1139 or visit her website CouplesCounselorSanDiego.com

 

 

Helping People Who Ask The Question…”Should I Stay Or Should I Go?”

 

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Helping People Who Ask The Question…”Should I Stay Or Should I Go?”

 

Sarah Ruggera, M.A. LMFT

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Affair Recovery Specialist

Certified Neurodiverse Couples Counselor/Coach

Author Happy Me Happy We: Six Steps To Know Yourself So You Know What You Want In A Relationship

CouplesCounselorSanDiego.com

CouplesCounselorSanDiego.com/relationships

(858) 735-1139

 

Reasons To Seek Marriage Counseling

Reasons To Seek Marriage Counseling. There are many reasons to seek marriage counseling. After the Honeymoon stage where both can do no wrong, couples enter into the Conflict Resolution stage, where they may experience problems from communication to sex issues. The details of life can become overwhelming affecting their connection to one another. If conflict is not resolved feelings can deteriorate where loss of being “in love” can change into roommate situations or even worse, where feelings of contempt will always lead to unhappiness and possible separation.

Couple seeking marriage counseling

No matter how healthy your relationship is, you may experience some problems that might affect your connection to one another. That is not to say you have lost your love for them, but maybe it is time to address some trust issues or communication concerns. Couple’s Counselor San Diego could be how to have that peace of mind and to feel supported through a hard time. They are there to guide you through the journey of Affair recovery while helping you every step of the way moving forward.

One of the main reasons people seek therapy is for help with intimate and close relationships. And while couples counseling tends to be viewed as something for only relationships in crisis, there are many reasons people in relationships might pursue it. Some are small, some larger, but all are important and deserve to be explored and worked on.

Here are 10 good Reasons To Seek Marriage Counseling:

1. COMMUNICATION ISSUES

Communication is the foundation of all relationships. Communication comes in many forms, both in person and over the phone, text, or social media. Therapy teaches couples how to communicate with each other in a positive manner that works. The type of communication a person grows up around tends to strongly affect how they communicate in their adult relationships. Counseling can help couples make a conscious choice of communication style and not just fall back on what they know from their history.

2. PREMARITAL COUNSELING

There are many issues couples face before they tie the knot. Premarital counseling is a place to discuss many things. One example is finances. Will bank accounts be shared? What about making decisions about what to purchase? Another consideration is household duties. Are children part of the picture? What role(s) will in-laws play in your life? Couples counseling can be a safe place to start the conversations that need to be addressed.

3. SEXUAL ISSUES

Sex can be something that heals and brings a couple together, or it can be a battleground fraught with anxiety, embarrassment, anger, and hurt. Counselors encounter sexual issues frequently and can help.

Sex issues
4. INFIDELITY AND UNFAITHFULNESS

Infidelity within a relationship can be the most hurtful and damaging thing a couple ever goes through, but it does not mean the relationship has to be over. Couples counseling provides a healing space to begin the journey toward resolution. It can help find practical and meaningful ways to navigate the treacherous waters of unfaithfulness.

5. ASSISTANCE MANAGING OTHER RELATIONSHIPS

Couples have relationships with people outside of their relationship together. Friends, extended family, children, coworkers, and supervisors/bosses/professors are just a few. These relationships can be either healthy or unhealthy. Some things that can be discussed are boundaries with members of the opposite sex or same sex, communication with exes, and together and alone time.

Nontraditional intimate relationships, such as polyamory, open, and swinging, can have problems and struggles—some of which are specific to their lifestyle and identity, some that all couples deal with.

6. NONTRADITIONAL RELATIONSHIPS

Nontraditional intimate relationships, such as polyamory, open relationships, and swinging, can have problems and struggles—some of which are specific to their lifestyle and identity, some that all couples deal with. It can be intimidating to seek relationship therapy for fear of not being valued or understood because of the type of intimate relationship one is in. Many relationship counselors are comfortable and have the background and understanding to work with people in nontraditional relationships and can provide an open and safe place to work on the struggles a couple is having.

7. BLENDED FAMILIES

When one or both partners have children from another relationship, blending has its own specific struggles and difficulties. Parenting differences, the role of the other parent, and the new identity of the family all need to be explored.

8. THE END OF A RELATIONSHIP

When a relationship has ended, whether by mutual agreement or otherwise, managing life can be difficult. Often, individuals need to express anger, sadness, and grief. There may be practical issues to sort out as well, such as housing and children. Agreeing how and when to communicate is another example of a matter to be discussed in couples counseling.

9. DIGITAL-AGE ISSUES

Facebook. Twitter. Texting. Sexting. Instagram. YouTube. Snapchat. These are just a few ways technology can infiltrate and affect relationships. Communicating via social media has its own pros and cons. Couples often have conflict regarding who to “friend,” what to “like,” and who to text, block, or chat. Communicating that is not done face-to-face or even on the phone is hard. No matter how many emojis are used, words can be misconstrued and misread. Tone of voice and body language are important to understanding what is being conveyed. Relationship counseling can help couples work through problems technology has caused, and create boundaries with each other to help restore trust when social media have hurt the relationship.

10. TRUST ISSUES

After trust is broken, relationships can be harmed or even destroyed. Part of having a solid and healthy relationship is to be able to trust one another. Learning to trust again is a slow and hard process, and it can be painful and frustrating when it doesn’t happen quickly. Counseling can educate and assist couples with understanding the process of regaining trust, and provide tools and direction to help.

All relationships are difficult in some form or another. There will be disagreement, conflict, and hurt even in the best of times. Marriage counseling can help couples grow and heal. Like all types of therapy, the lessons learned and behaviors changed will continue to serve each person for much longer than the therapy itself.

It takes work to have a solid and positive relationship. Marriage counseling is worth considering for any couple and can promote mutually beneficial change for years to come.

For more information please contact me at (858) 735-1139 or visit my website at CouplesCounselorSanDiego.com

Counseling Review for Sarah Ruggera, LMFT

Counseling Review. Couple gives feedback on marathon session.

Counseling Review for Sarah Ruggera, LMFT

“My husband and I finished a 3-hr. couples intensive with Sarah. She was direct and to the point. We learned more about what a healthy relationship looks like and what to do to move forward in ours. We got more in this 3 hr. session than working with a previous therapist for months. We highly recommend her work and appreciate the longer session as we now have the traction to better our marriage. Plus we appreciated her self disclosure as most therapists tend not to do that.” – C & K Bailey

Sarah Ruggera, is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in Affair Recovery and is a Certified Neurodiverse Couples Counselor/Coach in San Diego. She holds in office and online sessions. (858) 735-1139 CouplesCounselorSanDiego.com