Cassandra Recovery

Cassandra Recovery. If you’re married to a man on the Autism Spectrum (has Asperger’s) the lack of adequate psychological nurturance from him feels like a form of emotional neglect. Being unable to engage in your feelings and his own make for a lack of emotional intimacy. As a result of his mind blindness you tend to feel more like roommates than romantic intimates as communication tends to be more transactional than relational.

Cassandra Recovery

Neurotypical wives who chronically feel affection-deprived may exhibit the following symptoms:

Feel a loss of sense of self
Feel like they are going crazy
Are more lonely
Can feel empty inside
Are frustrated, resentful, angry; feel guilt
Feel rejected
More likely to experience depression, anxiety and fatigue
Have low self-esteem
Thinks there is something wrong with themselves
Have difficulty to find ways to “self-soothe”

Have social problems
Feel like they are doing all the work in the relationship
Tend to yell at their husband and other family members
Tend to self-medicate with alcohol
Not sleep well

I’ve been married to my Asperger husband for over 20 years. For years I thought I was losing my mind, as well as my sense of self. I kept telling myself I was a licensed clinician trained to study human behavior and interpersonal relationships. I couldn’t put my finger on it until I started to see couples in my practice suffering from the same disconnectedness. I had empathy, as well as compassion for the “Neurotypical” wife. I related to what these women were saying.

Recovery from Cassandra starts with accepting the fact that your Asperger husband is not going to meet your emotional needs to the extent that you need him to. Developing an independent life outside of the interdependent relationship (marriage) is key to moving forward.

Managing Cassandra can include: