Does Your Asperger Husband Need A Diagnosis? In 2013, the term Aspergers became part of one umbrella diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder (ASD) renamed bv the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders 5 (DSM-5). There is currently no specific test or diagnostic criteria for diagnosing Asperger’s in adults.
As a certified neurodiverse couples counselor and coach, I inform new clients it’s not that important to get a formal diagnosis. Minors tend to receive one as it supports their need for community resources. Working with adults I don’t place labels on anyone who may be on the spectrum, rather, I help both partners acquire tools to become more relational rather than transactional. We’re all on the spectrum to some degree. Emotional connectedness is what everyone wants.
My husband has Asperger’s so I can relate to what neurodiverse couples go through. Surviving an Asperger Marriage is possible. Learning each others’ love language is a start to establishing that intimacy.
Asperger Husband Need A Diagnosis?
Those who are interested in taking a self-assessment test or looking at an Asperger’s profile (AANE.org) may do so to see where on the spectrum one falls into. Although this is not a diagnosis, it may provide important insights that a person can discuss with their doctor or neurodiverse counselor/coach.
As Asperger’s is no longer diagnosed as a condition in and of itself it is important to see couples through a neurological lens as neurology matters helping each partner understand how they process information and how it effects their communication. A partner with Asperger’s has different ways of learning, moving, or paying attention. They also have problems with social communication and interaction with some restricted repetitive behaviors that can hinder their ability to connect with their neurotypical partner (wife). These characteristics can make relationships challenging.
My work with neurodiverse couples consist of putting a system in place, acquiring tools for initiating conversation, sharing thoughts and feelings, and asking for what they need and want. I act as a translator for what may be construed as unkind and rigid behavior, as well as differentiating between spectrum behavior and narcissism. Believe me your Asperger husband isn’t doing hurtful things on purpose.
For more information about my services and fees please text me at (858) 735-1139 with your email address.