Holidays

Couples and Valentine’s Day What To Do And What Not To Do

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Couples and Valentine’s Day What To Do And What Not To Do. Valentine’s Day is that special time where lovers have the opportunity to express their fond felt emotions toward one another.  Marriage Counseling brings about many discussions about disappointing Valentine’s Days. Often times expectations aren’t met and emotions come up that need to be shared so individuals can know what to expect for future event planning.

 

Couples and Valentine’s Day What To Do And What Not To Do:

1.  Forgetting About The “Day”

Acknowledge the day.  The world around us will be surrounding ourselves with pink hearts, red roses, and chocolate candy.  Don’t make your partner feel left out.  Validate their existence and show how they make you feel during this day of Love.

2.  Just Showing Up At A Restaurant

Make sure you have a dinner reservation.Valentine’s Day is the busiest night of the year. If you don’t have a reservation you chance not getting into a restaurant of your choice or can wait over an hour to be seated which isn’t very romantic, shows poor planning on your part, and makes for an unpleasant evening.

3.  Having Other Engagements

Keep your calendar clear that day. Even if you plan on working for just a few more minutes on a project, you can run into a time crunch and become late for your evening plans and create unhappy feelings toward your partner. Eliminate any risk of things that could interfere with a successful outcome.

4.  Avoiding Discussion About Overwhelming Gifts

Even though you may feel strongly about your loved one, especially if you are still in the “New Love Phase” of your relationship, it would be good to talk about appropriate gifts of affection so that one partner doesn’t go overboard when the other may plan on doing something simple.  This eliminates any embarrassment, hurt feelings or awkwardness because one of you is feeling like what they contributed wasn’t enough.  Even if the day is a surprise, it would be good to talk beforehand, in terms of a general feel about your Valentine’s Day plans. That way both can of you can enjoy the experience and eliminate unhappy or guilty feelings.

5.  Buying into Marketing Messages

You don’t have to spend tons of money to show your love and affection. It’s not about getting the biggest bouquet of flowers or most expensive box of candy.  Even jewelry doesn’t have to send you over your credit limit.  It’s about showing your loved one behaviorally, what they mean to you. Enhance the experience by expressing thankfulness and appreciation, as well, as you spend your special time together.

And remember love and romance isn’t just for Valentine’s Day….keep the “in-love” behavior ongoing and you’ll continue to feel like being “in-love.”

If you want to learn more about how to do that, call me now at (858) 735-1139.

 

Alone On Valentine’s Day

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Alone on Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day is among us. Scary words when you’re single. Everywhere you go there are red and pink heart displays. Chocolate and champagne offerings are abundantly brought to our attention to act as aphrodisiacs to romantic interests. But what if you don’t have that special someone to lavish hearts and flowers to. I used to host a dinner party for my single friends and family members and called it the “Lonely Hearts Club.” I looked forward to every year where I treated these special guests to a Valentine’s Day evening with good food and company. If you don’t have a Lonely Hearts Club I recommend doing some fun things to make this Valentine’s Day a self care day.

Alone On Valentine’s Day

“Be My Valentine” recommendations for those alone on Valentine’s Day:

  • Pamper yourself.  Rather than wait for someone else to give some loving attention to your body, mind and soul treat yourself to a nice hot sensual bath with lavender oils and scents. Make the mood right by lighting up allot of candles and playing spa music to relax by. Afterwards order a great meal and have it delivered. Enjoy eating your own box of chocolates or favorite dessert while watching a movie you’ve always wanted to see and never made the time to see it.
  • Send yourself flowers. Flowers make you feel happy and add beauty to your environment. Sending flowers to yourself tells you that you love yourself and don’t have to wait for someone else to show you this kind of care.
  • Wear something Red or Pink and play Cupid around the office passing out candy and handing out Compliments.

  • Drink Champagne, Sparkling Cider, or even soda pop in a champagne flute.
  • Do a nice thing for a couple who has children and babysit for them so they can go out and enjoy an evening together to celebrate Valentine’s Day. It’s good Karma and you might get an appreciation for the single life after a night with kids.
  • Celebrate your Independence. You won’t always be accountable for yourself when you have other people you will be responsible for. Enjoy this time where you concentrate on yourself being able to sleep until whenever you want, eat whenever you please and decide whatever it is you want to do.
  • Ask a Friend out for a Platonic Date and split the meal check at a special restaurant. Check out all the couples around the restaurant and guess which ones will stay together based on their body language.
  • Lastly, indulge in a decadent dessert.…you deserve it!

When working with individuals who suffer from depression a coping skill is doing something nice for someone else. Whatever holiday it is do something that makes you feel happy.

Happy Me Happy We The mindset of a happy “me” makes for a happy “we” creates the space for someone to come into your life so Valentine’s Day for the rest of your life can be filled with the one you love. But more importantly, it is a day to love yourself.