How Couples Can Survive The Holidays. Have you ever said……”I wish we could just go away for the Holidays? ”
Thanksgiving. The official start of the Holiday Season. Most couples dread the Holidays as they are expected to spend time with in-laws and other extended family members. Even when you have healthy family relations and communication is good certain people can still get under your skin. It’s these “certain” people that can negatively affect your relationship as the Holidays are already a high time for anxiety.
In Marriage Counseling it is recommended to put boundaries in place and set good limits so that individual and relationship needs are met by you and your spouse and your respective families. As a Couples Counselor I stress the importance of being cognizant of knowing when to say YES and when to say NO to extended family members so that the couples ensures their immediate family needs are met. I understand your respective Families of Origins want access to you and yours but sometimes doing something different can be as beneficial as doing whatever it is you typically do.
A couple of years ago my husband and I went to Little Palm Island in Florida for Thanksgiving weekend. For the past 25 years my sister and I traded off hosting either Thanksgiving or Christmas Eve/Day Dinner for the family. As wonderful as that is it became a little routine for me and the responsibility was becoming burdensome. I wanted to do something different. Of course, I got flack from my parents and in-laws as they are from the older generation but I explained to them that I needed time with my husband and that the traditions were going to be altered for that year. Yes, there was some guilt feelings on my part for awhile, but it didn’t last too long when I was basking in the Florida sun on a private island having even met Christian Slater vacationing at the resort, as well.
It was a well deserved getaway for my husband and me and helped rejuvenate our relationship. Another year we took a “staycation” here at the Hotel Del with our youngest daughter and enjoyed what our own City had to offer during Christmas Dinner. Enjoying the season and your family without the undue stress certainly makes a huge difference. I highly recommend it. This year I want to host for the Holidays as I enjoy that too.
Doing what you really don’t want to do during this particular time of year can be very stressful for couples and can make the difference between having a great Holiday Season or just another holiday season….it’s always a choice. Call me at (858) 735-1139 if you need help making the right choice for you and yours.