Do You Think Your Husband Has Asperger’s? I’ve been married to my husband for twenty years and from the beginning, I thought he might be on the spectrum. We all are to a certain degree but those who suffer from the syndrome show signs of severe debilitation which affect social interaction, behavior, and communication. What exactly is Asperger’s? Asperger’s syndrome is a developmental disorder characterized as an autism spectrum disorder (ASD).
A person with Asperger’s, an Aspie, is very high functioning and has no problem with basic speech, are quite intelligent and capable.
Common traits of Asperger’s include:
- Not being thoughtful – despite any ill intent, the impact may appear rude or callous.
- Have memory problems – forgetful
- Have a lack of theory of mind (Mindblindness) – incapable of putting themselves “into someone else’s shoes.” Cannot conceptualize, understand or predict knowledge, thoughts, and beliefs, emotions, feelings and desires, behavior, actions, and intentions of another person.
- No self-awareness.
- Time management problems – lose track of time as they can become involved in restricted or special interests.
- Have a narrow range of interests – hyper-focused on one (often very specific) hobby.
- Show little to no empathy.
- Have sensory problems – sensitive to bright light, loud sound, skin sensitivities, and sometimes taste.
- Repetitive behaviors – like routine, have little tolerance for change, inflexible.
- Struggle for small talk – limited relational skills.
- Conversations can be one-sided.
- Difficulty making friends.
- Have awkward moments and mannerisms.
- Little eye contact.
As a Marriage Counselor married to someone on the spectrum I’m working with and able to help Neurodiverse Couples (a couple is neurodiverse when one or both partners has an Asperger / Autism Spectrum profile) focus on problem-solving, developing coping strategies for one or both partners, and acquiring relational and communication skills through putting systems in place and implementing a process that is successful.
I love my husband as he is a kind, generous, and intelligent man. I didn’t want to leave the relationship so I educated myself on this syndrome and acquired the coping skills to manage my emotions (Cassandra Syndrome) more appropriately while getting my husband the tools he needed to be more relational. We have put systems in place and are implementing a process that is actually working well.
For more information on being able to move forward with your Aspie husband please contact me at (858) 735-1139. I know I can help.