How To Make An Asperger Marriage Work. As in any marriage, the key practices for anyone seeking a happy and loving relationship are awareness, understanding, compassion, connection, respect, passion, and trust. An asperger marriage consist of one partner being on the Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), typically the husband (AS) and the wife who is neurotypical (NT). In my own marriage, my husband is the AS partner and I am the NT partner. Neurodiverse marriages are often very challenging, with mental health consequences for both partners, for their children, and for their extended family systems.
How To Make An Asperger Marriage Work
- Pursue a diagnosis; even if the diagnosis is not formal (for peace of mind or validation) A diagnosis is not key to becoming more relational
- Understand how AS impacts the individual and consequently the relationship
- Manage depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder
- Self-exploration and self-awareness
- Create a Relationship Schedule (carve out and calendar coupling activities)
- Meet each other’s sexual needs
- Develop a household expectations list
- Put a system in place so the acquired communication skills can be implemented
- Parallel play
- Cope with sensory overload and meltdowns
- Expand Theory of Mind – limited ability to “read” another person’s thoughts, feelings, or intentions
- Improve communication
- Manage expectations and suspending judgment
- Co-parenting strategies
- Learn and speak each other’s love language
Just like any other goal to meet there needs effort and commitment. In working with my neurodiverse couples, those that use the tools and are mindful of implementing their objectives to their moving forward plan, makes for good prognosis. There are those who say they want to get better yet never demonstrate the behavior required of them. Learning how to be more relational is not that difficult. You do, however, have to put the effort in to receive the desired outcome.
My husband has Asperger’s so I can relate to what neurodiverse couples go through. Surviving an Asperger Marriage is possible. Putting strategies in place is essential to establishing the intimacy desired. For information about my services and fee please text me your email address at (858) 735-1139.