Is Couples Therapy Worth It? Is couples therapy worth the cost?
When couples get engaged the last thing they want to do is spend money on couples counseling. Why? Reasons include:
- They want to save the money for the wedding
- We don’t believe we need any premarital counseling because we get along just fine – which could be code for: On still a deeper psychological level, the prospect (or anticipation) of being in couples therapy may induce (influence, cause, or bring about) one or both of the partners’ (largely unconscious) fears of intimacy and closeness
- Partly in denial about not being made for each other
- They don’t see view counseling/therapy as offering sufficient value to them
- They were brought up to believe that you solve your problems on your own — without the help of a third party — especially one you have to pay a fee to
- They previously have seen a clergy person, coach, or another human services professional not specifically trained or experienced in conducting couples therapy
- They may be afraid of, or not be ready to face the unpleasant (or even devastating) “emotional reality” that their relationship can’t or won’t work out
- They may have heard about someone else, or others, who saw a professional couple therapist but didn’t have a particularly good, positive, or successful experience or outcome
- They have negative expectations of what the therapist might say and recommend to them. They may anticipate judgment, criticism, blaming, shaming, ridiculing, and/ or scolding, etc.
- Financial considerations sometimes play a major part
- They’re cheap
Is Couples Therapy Worth It?
As a Marriage Counselor, most couples fall in the category of believing they didn’t need counseling and/or are cheap. Money is a valuable commodity and most of us learned at a young age that money can place value on things. Ex. people, items, services, etc. Just like at the reading of a Will. If you receive something, typically money, you’re valued on some level from the person leaving you an inheritance. If you don’t get “jack” you typically feel unvalued and it really hurts.
Your relationship is a worthwhile investment; it has incredible potential to grow and enhance your life. With that said, many couples, understandably, struggle with whether or not therapy is worth the cost. Here are some points to consider related to this question:
- The immediate cost of divorce (e.g., attorney fees) averages $12,000-$15,000, not to mention the ongoing expenses of maintaining separate households.
- Couples in troubled marriages are significantly more likely to have compromised immune systems, elevated stress hormone levels, and other markers of early mortality (Robles & Kiecolt-Glaser, 2003). Yes! A bad relationship can actually shorten your life.
- Creating as healthy a marriage as possible can have intergenerational effects, as children witness and experience the effects of a healthy relationship.
- The average wedding costs about $23,000. Personally, my daughter’s wedding cost over $80,000.
- An investment in preventing divorce and setting as good a trajectory for a marriage as possible is also a worthy investment.
- The vast majority of couples (around 75%) experience significant improvement in their relationship when the therapist is able to help with creating effective communication, teaching how to show empathy, share thoughts and feelings, and being able to ask for what you need and want.
In short, the vast majority of people receive a significant return on their couples therapy investment. I believe that competent, quality therapy is a great investment in significantly moving towards greater happiness, satisfaction, and joy in life. It enhances both the couple and each person as an individual – often in many ways that one might not have anticipated or predicted initially. Couples therapy is a challenging yet exciting journey of psychological and emotional growth and development.
Is Couples Therapy Worth It? So to answer the question…yes couples therapy is absolutely worth it. At the very least it helps answer the question….”Should I Stay Or Should I Go?” because the process helps make an informed decision where there are no regrets.
For more information on Couples Therapy and how to get started contact me at (858) 735-1139 or go to my website CouplesCounselorSanDiego.com
