Is Your Husband Narcissistic? Losing Your Sense Of Self? Maybe Your Husband Is A Narcissist. Narcissists say things to invalidate you. Are you a fair and reasonable person? Do you feel like you’re going “crazy” in your relationship because you feel invisible and worthless? Maybe it’s not you. In a healthy relationship, your partner will show empathy for your emotions and validate your thoughts/perspective. With validation people feel seen and heard. Although I talk about a narcissistic husband, women can also display same behaviors.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a mental illness in which a person has an inflated sense of self-importance. It is likely caused by genetic and environmental factors. Treatment can help but the condition cannot be cured. Whether your husband has NPD or narcissistic traits, living with them can be very challenging. As a Marriage Counselor, acquiring communication tools can help if exercised with consistency. Just like any skill, communication skills need to be practiced to become perfected.
Things narcissists say to invalidate emotions, thoughts, and experiences:
- You’re making a big deal out of nothing
- You don’t know what you’re talking about
- Don’t be so lame, you’ll be fine
- I don’t remember saying that
- Give you the silent treatment (to be punitive or controlling)
Narcissistic traits: to name a few
Over inflated sense of self
Reacts poorly to criticism
Unable to take responsibility for their actions
Manipulates to get their own way
Unable to See You as a Real Person
Reality is their own reality – unable to see other people’s perspective
Thinks they are always right
Takes advantage of other people
What does it mean when someone is invalidating you?
It is the act of purposefully denying, rejecting, minimizing, negatively judging, and/or ignoring your expressed experience, thoughts, actions, or emotions, – Narcwise
As a Marriage Counselor, working with couples where one partner shows narcissistic traits, I bring to their attention arguing with a narcissist about their action often proves fruitless. A more successful solution is to establish boundaries and emotionally distance yourself. Recognize that you may not be able to control your feelings about a person, but you can control how you respond to them. Cutting ties with a narcissistic partner, family member, or boss may eventually be the best if not the only solution.
For more information on narcissistic husbands contact me at (858)735-1139 or via my website at www.couplescounselorsandiego.com