The Masks We Hide Behind. Do You Hide Behind A Pseudo Self? We all have a true self or a false self also known as a pseudo self. Carl Jung the Swiss Psychiatrist and Psychoanalyst define Personas as the mask or shield which a person places between himself and the people around him. In honor of Halloween, I thought I’d write about the masks we tend to wear which represents some part of our true selves, our ideal selves, and the self we portray to others to gain whatever it is we’re looking for from them. During Halloween people dress up masquerading in costume or cosplaying characters to emulate a sense of what it’s like to be that character.
As a Marriage Counselor, I put on the persona of a female superhero in charge of herself and the people I serve, my clients. I role model strength. I identify and exercise appropriate behavior and manage my emotions appropriately rather than act them out in inappropriate ways. I project independence and self-reliance, as well as displaying good self-care. That persona looks and appeals rather healthy and all together. In reality, I’m just like the general population, in that I can, at times, behave in ways that are not always appropriate or mature. Being human, I have my faults and weaknesses so I work hard at keeping my persona intact so that I am able to perform my services to those who need me.
In Marriage Counseling couples share they have to pretend to be a certain person other than themselves at certain times. Some say they hide behind a mask throughout the year. Some people hide their true selves for fear of rejection. Some couples I work with hide behind a mask of smiles and never argue or say what they truly feel so as to avoid conflict. They are unable to say what they need or want to say to each other, therefore, never really being able to connect with one another. They dare not say what they really want to say in order to keep the “peace” within their relationship. By not taking the risk in sharing their thoughts and emotions intimacy is never developed and years down the road they say they don’t feel any connection with one another although they say they “get along” quite nicely. Roommates is what I typically hear them say about their relationship.
So if you think you hide behind a mask most of the time and want to be less “Conflict Avoidant” I can help you learn how to express yourself more effectively to bring about the intimacy and connection you truly desire. Take off that mask and allow your True Self to show up. Express yourself in ways you never have before. Call me at (858) 735-1139 and get the relationship that you know you want.