Why Some Men Don’t Want Sex

Why Some Men Don’t Want Sex.  At the beginning of every relationship there is the Honeymoon Stage.  Where everything is hot and heavy.  When nothing you say can ruin the moment.  Then you enter into the Conflict Stage where hopefully you have good conflict resolution skills.  Afterwhich there is that period where life goes on without any major ups or downs.  Sex is good but sometimes your guy isn’t in the mood.  WHAT?!  Guys are always in the mood…so we thought.  Sometimes they aren’t.  They experience periods of times just like women when they don’t want it. Besides having an organic or medical problem here are some hidden reasons men don’t want sex:


1.  Anxiety – Worried about sexual performance such as Erectile Dysfunction (inability to have an erection) or premature ejaculation (climaxing too soon or before the women comes to orgasm).  Men pride themselves on making women happy in bed and the above conditions create a lot of nervousness during intercourse.

2.  Low Testosterone Levels – According to estimates, as many as 13.9 million American men have low testosterone, also known as Hypogonadism, and it may be the reason he’s turning you down night after night.  Symptoms include decreased energy, low mood, fatigue, loss of muscle mass, and Erectile Dysfunction.  The condition is treatable so receiving medical attention is recommended.

3.  He’s waiting for you to initiate – Men know they are the ones to initiate.  They are don’t mind initiating and even prefer it as their sex drive can be rather strong.  But there are times when they do want to be pursued and want the woman to initiate every now and then without any feelings of complexity with feminism.

4.  He’d rather masturbate – or exercise his sexual autonomy as he doesn’t want to negotiate sex with his partner as that can be the case at times. Watching porn or fantasizing is quicker and can be more efficient.  The vulnerability of being dependent on another person for their desire can make him appear far from being the tough guy society expects them to be.  Being vulnerable for some men means being weak or less male so not putting themselves in a position to be rejected takes care of that situation.

5.  He may be angry with you –  if you have been arguing a lot lately and can’t effectively communicate what’s on your mind hurt feelings can be underlying feelings of anger.  He could be bottling up his emotions keeping his distance from you.

6.  Lack of physical contact – According to Dr. Raphael Darvish “Loss of libido in men often has little to do with medical causes and a lot to do with the women in their lives.”  Not feeling wanted and not enough physical contact can negatively affect your relationship.  Kissing and hugging every morning before leaving for work and returning to the home after work can make a significant difference to your man.

7.  An undiagnosed health condition – The penis can be considered a barometer of overall health for men.  If there are problems in this area, it could be symptomatic of larger health issues such as diabetes, prostate cancer or heart disease.

8.  Allergies – Red watery eyes, runny nose, sneezes and coughs aren’t sexy and doesn’t help get anyone in the mood.

9.  The Economy – Finances and household bills can stress anyone out.  Those under an extreme amount of stress often lose their sex drive temporarily.  Exercise and eating a healthy low fat diet can help alleviate stress.  But talking to your partner about how you can help with this worry is ideal and would be appreciated.

10.  He’s just not in the mood – he’s entitled!

Making love is an expression that your partner loves and cares about you.  If too much time goes by without that expression of love one could become insecure and wonder what the problem may be.  If you are experiencing such a situation communication is always the best way to remedy any conflict.  If you would like help with your particular situation please call me at (858) 735-1139

Share and Enjoy !