Monogamy Myths And Truths. Conservative estimates show that 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an extramarital affair. Most people expect monogamy to be a normal part of marriage or any committed relationship. When stating marital vows it’s either implicit or explicit that monogamy is expected. Some couples who come in for Affair Recovery do so where one of them has made a unilateral decision to open up their marriage by cheating.
Photo by Shawn Goldberg
Monogamy myths and truths
Some monogamy myths:
- Society supports monogamy as the norm in society as a whole.
- One person can meet all of your needs
- If an affair happens, it’s strictly a personal failure of the people involved
- Cheating and affairs are more common among the rich and less common in conservative cultures
- If you really love your partner, you’ll remain faithful
- We generally agree on what counts as cheating
- Your partner won’t stray as long as you keep your sex life exciting
- Most married people don’t cheat
- Jealousy is an indicator of true love
- Intimacy is only for romantic relationships
- Monogamy means you don’t experience other attractions
The reality about Monogamy is despite society’s lip service to monogamy there are significant societal factors that support and encourage affairs. Just look at advertising idealizing relationships by suggesting you can have it all. That monogamy is not the norm by today’s standards
Monogamy is a choice. As years go by in long term marriage it is recommended to keep the line of communication open and be able to talk about what you like and don’t like in the bedroom. Being able to initiate conversation, express thoughts and feelings, and asking for what you need and want keeps the intimacy in tack to continue to choose monogamy. If and when couples choose otherwise, it would be advisable to develop New Monogamy agreements so relationship expectations are explicit rather than implicit.
For more information about monogamy and new monogamy agreements visit my website at CouplesCounselorSanDiego.com or call me at (858) 735-1139.