Neurology Matters in Couples Coaching. I’m a results oriented counselor who develops action plans where both partners make the commitment for change. Traditional marriage/couples counseling is ineffective if you are married to someone on the Autism Spectrum. You need Neurodiverse Couples Coaching because the two of you speak different languages. I provide coaching services through a neurological lens so you understand each other’s language. It’s like speaking Spanish to a partner who speaks French. Learn each other’s language so you are able to communicate. As with any objective there is a learning curve. Do nothing and nothing changes. Neurology cannot be separated from a person — it affects personality, strengths, talents, and challenges — as well as the way a person views the world, thinks, speaks, behaves, and feels.
What is Neurodiverse Couples Coaching?
What’s the difference between coaching and counseling? Relational coaches focus on creating a new life path for the couple to achieve certain goals.
Certified Neurodiverse Couples Counselor
Counselors (therapists) focus on specific problems and look into emotional resolutions through a psychological lens, finding solutions to those specific problems, while making ‘healing’ as one of the main objectives.
Intimate relationships can be hard, but they are especially challenging when partners have different perspectives, communication techniques, approaches, and skill sets. Neurology matters a great deal in an intimate relationship, since it impacts every conversation a couple has, how they make decisions together, how they raise children together, how they live together, and how they achieve goals together.
In Neurodiverse Couples Coaching sessions you will discuss issues related to your unique set of circumstances in which one or both members have an Asperger profile. Neurodiverse Couples Coaching includes learning to problem solve, develop coping strategies, and build skills to improve your relationship.
Topics that Neurodiverse couples often seek help with include:
- Social or General Anxiety
- Avoid conflict
- Rigidity, Obsessions, or Hoarding
- Sensory Issues
- Lack of Emotional Reciprocity or Physical Intimacy
- Shift blame or misunderstand the impact of their actions
- Act self-centered with little regard for their partner’s emotions
- Executive Function Challenges
My husband has Asperger’s. We have been married for over 20 years. As a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I always knew there was something off with the way my husband communicated. I love my husband very much, but the first decade of our marriage was very challenging. I “acted out” quite a bit as I came to understand I was suffering from Cassandra Syndrome. I don’t know how many times I threatened divorce.
“Our work with Sarah was life changing. She was able to help us recognize, understand, and move us forward with tools that make us more communicative, and more importantly, more relational. Our household runs more smoothly because of the system she helped us put in place. Without it we wouldn’t of had the bandwidth needed to stay together and enjoy the strengths we do share.” – Jessica and Wayne S. (La Jolla)
“We sought Marriage Counseling, however, our communication did not improve. My discouragement and frustration lead to more acting out behavior which wasn’t helping. What we needed were relational tools and education about how Neurodiverse couples (Asperger husband; Neurotypical wife) process information differently. The understanding was quite eye opening.” – Bill & Lilia K. Upstate New York
Neurodiverse Couples Coaching
As a Marriage and Family Therapist, and Certified Neurodiverse Couples Coach (AANE), I am able to effectively help Neurodiverse Couples:
- Identify the specific Asperger’s traits that are contributing to the problems in the marriage
- Understanding the neurotypical partner’s needs and expectations for moving forward
- Understand meltdowns in one or both partners and how to manage them
- By making an assessment using an Asperger’s profile in one of the partners
- Interpret for each partner what behavior means
- Overcome negative interactions together respectfully
- Acquire tools that initiate communication, express thoughts and feelings, and ask for what is needed
- Put systems and strategies in place to manage and change the dysfunctional areas in the relationship
- Set and maintain positive, healthy personal boundaries
- Understand and appreciate that both have their own perspectives and see things differently
- Develop and express healthy expectations for the relationship
- Discuss what has and has not worked in the relationship so far
- Meet each other’s sexual needs
As a Therapist that works with Neurodiverse Couples, I normalize behavior that may be construed as odd and unkind. I know first hand how it feels to be a woman married to a husband on the Spectrum. With education, tools and adding levity to our sessions and difficult situational stories my couples present, we are able to develop and exercise more relational behavior to receive the emotional connection desired.
What Couples Are Saying About Sarah
“Sarah’s ability to identify the problem areas and give us tools to address them is priceless.”
“We love her energy.”
“She keeps us motivated to follow through with the system we’ve put in place to be more relational.”
“She’s honest and direct, but more importantly, her coaching has made a big difference in how we communicate.”
“If it weren’t for Sarah, I would not still be married.”
For more information about getting Neurodiverse Couples Coaching please contact me at (858) 735-1139.