What Happens At The Beginning Of A Relationship. The Initial Phase of a Relationship is hot for about 3 months lasting up to 27 months, making for hot brain chemistry. Same parts of the brain light up as it does for Cocaine. Not Serotonin. People become obsessed. They don’t get much sleep, they text and make allot of calls. Things don’t make sense at this stage. PEA (Phenethylamine: an amine that naturally occurs in the brain and also in some foods, like chocolate. It’s a stimulant, much like an amphetamine, that releases Norepinephrine and Dopamine.) This chemical is found when you are falling in love. It’s responsible for the “head-over-heels,” elated part of love, kicks in when you have new relationship energy. PEA also kicks in when you have adventure or fear. When you go on a scary ride for example at an amusement park. Your brain can’t maintain that intensity for more than 27 months.
After that you go into the Conflict Phase of your relationship. You can have a conscious relationship. Everyone has Eros energy; passion, aliveness and creativity. Eros, in Greek Mythology, had sex with all the other Goddesses like Psyche. Eros energy makes you feel alive and excited. It makes you feel that life is worth living. The problem becomes when the Eros energy isn’t the erotic part of the energy any more. It gets shut down. Without this erotic energy the relationship can feel hopeless. This I refer to as Thanatos energy or the Death of Passion or death of Life Force. The death force is that urge you feel when you want to bury your head under the pillow. The desire not to exist. Tantra is a goal of nonexistence by going through your partner. At the end life we have a resurgence of Eros energy because it fights off the death force. Intense Eros surge that flights off the doorway to death that they see opening. To fight off drug addiction takes creative energy.
Globally the concept of commitment and trying to resurrect marriage/relationships is dying.