Setbacks In Affair Recovery. Affair recovery with me starts with a 3-hour couples intensive. Both the Affair Partner and the Hurt Partner share their narratives and I take them through a series of affair questions to understand meanings and motives of why the affair happened. The single best indicator for affair recovery is for the Affair Partner to gain some insight about why they did what they did and articulate why it won’t happen again while the Hurt Partner manages the range of emotions that come up from the affair. Affair recovery consists of follow up sessions to obtain traction within the healing process. The first few weeks and months after an affair is revealed are the hardest, obviously. Affair recovery is an ongoing process and healing doesn’t take place overnight. In fact, the process can take months, even years. While in recovery there are a number of ways a couple can derail their affair healing.
Setbacks In Affair Recovery
You may have serious doubts about your marriage surviving. It’s important to remember, your marriage CAN survive this, and can become even better on the other side. Both spouses have a role in recovery but, to be real, the burden falls more on the one who strayed. The truth is the Affair Partner holds the keys to much of this recovery process.
To prevent relapse you must be aware of the most common setbacks in affair recovery and marital healing:
- Continuing any communication with the affair partner’s lover will destroy healing in your marriage. A cease and desist is necessary.
- Maintaining secrets, lies and hiding facts. You must be transparent at all times and willing to share any unforeseeable contact with the affair partner’s lover.
- Being unsympathetic to your spouse’s pain and trauma.
- Shutting down any communication and questions about the affair. The affair partner shys away from talking about the affair due to guilt and shame. And who wants to go there?!
- Not being willing to do whatever it takes to rebuild trust. Whatever it takes means you follow through with affair recovery requirements.
- Rushing and being impatient with your spouse’s healing process. Again, time will make the hurt a thing of the past, but this doesn’t happen overnight. Sometimes months/years.
- To the Hurt Partner: Staying stuck in unforgiveness toward your unfaithful spouse. Being stuck for a specific period of time is understandable and appropriate. When an excessive amount of time has past and the Hurt Partner doesn’t forgive or doesn’t want to forgive becomes a problem.
Setbacks In Affair Recovery
As a Marriage and Family Therapist and Affair Recovery Specialist, I have helped more than two thousand couples find joy in relationships. Knowing how to initiate conversation, share thoughts and feelings, and ask for what you need and want makes for being in the relationship of your dreams. Understanding what is required for Affair Recovery is the first step in healing.
Please contact me at (858) 735-1139 or visit by website CouplesCounselorSanDiego.com if you want the same.