Sexual Intimacy – What’s You’re Sex Life Like?

Sexual Intimacy – What’s You’re Sex Life Like? Was sex discussed in your family? As a young girl I learned about sex through watching movies and from my peers. When sex was brought up it was to tell us kids not to have sex before marriage. That it was a sin and other sex shaming remarks. It’s no wonder some couples have a hard time talking about what they want in and out of the bedroom. There’s no need to be ashamed about asking for what you want in bed.

Sexual Intimacy. Esther Perel states we all come to relationships with an emotional dowry. This transfer of parental legacy contains fears, anticipations, old wounds, and your strengths.   Your emotional dowry is what was role modeled for you as a child and has become second nature. Perel states our relational and sexual aspirations are based on what you had, what you didn’t have, what you wish to repair, and what’s ok to repeat.

These tips can be transforming when developing your sexual intimacy.

  • Have Sexual Intelligence.
  • What was the attitude towards sex in your family growing up?
    • comfortable, natural, awkward, repressive, shame based, guilt inducing, abusive
  • Know what strengths you bring into your relationship.
  • What’s a dilemma you carry with you?
  • What are the dominant messages you grew up with about boys and girls/men and women?
  • Do you want sexual exclusivity in your relationship?
  • When do you feel most free in your relationship?
  • What do you like to experience in sex?
    • tenderness, softness, closeness, surrender, dominance, abandon, freedom, freedom from responsibility, giving, receiving, being taken possessing, ruthlessness, spiritual connection
  • Among the 5 senses, which one is most sexual for you?
    • seeing, hearing, smelling, touching, tasting
  • How comfortable are you in communicating your sexual wants and dislikes?
  • How comfortable are you in communicating your emotional wants and dislikes?
  • What is a hard conversation for you to have around intimacy and sexuality?

Your sex life is about what you want. Explore each question. These tips can help you know more about what you want so you can share that with your partner. As you read through these tips you will become more self-aware about intimate relationships and your sexuality. Communicating about sex with our partners makes us vulnerable. And who wants to do that?! But being vulnerable is what intimacy making is all about. Without intimacy couples can feel like they are just roommates.

For more information about your sexual intimacy call me at (858) 735-1139.

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