Signs You’re Headed For Divorce. It takes a lot of work to keep a marriage going. After the honeymoon stage, life is one big conflict resolution stage. If you don’t have coping skills for good conflict resolution you may end up divorce whether you want it or not. As a marriage and family therapist, I’ve worked with couples for over 25 years. There are those who can acquire communication skills and those who cannot. Those who cannot, possess a reality of their own which is not conducive to healthy relationships.
Signs You’re Headed For Divorce
Signs that a couple is likely to divorce:
- Any abuse – physical, verbal, emotional, psychological
- They give each other the silent treatment (or other inappropriate acting out behavior) – likely due to inner child issues which need to be identified and resolved as immaturity blocks success
- They have contempt for one another – contempt is acting as though your partner is beneath you or not worth your time. It’s disregarding someone else’s thoughts/opinions or actively displaying scorn for them. (beyond angry)
- Their sex life is vanilla – sex is important and healthy in romantic relationships; “missionary” position all the time (lackluster sex life) and/or no sex for years.
- They don’t have much in common – night owls and early birds tend to make unlikely bedfellows; opposites due attract but there needs to be something that keeps them connected.
- Their careers come before the family – workaholics; low priority on spouse and children make for breeding contempt.
- They don’t respect each other’s love language – Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages are game changers with troubled couples.
- They are not honest about their spending of money – little transparency on how money is being spent and saved. Not being honest about purchases.
- They never fight – when couples are conflict avoidant they create conflict; expressing oneself in a relationship is healthy utilizing conflict resolution skills.
- Overall immature behavior and unwillingness to resolve conflict in appropriate ways.
Throughout my years as a marriage counselor, I am happy to say I have worked with couples who have beat the odds for divorce. These couples have the desire to love and make each other happy. When things get tough they manage their acting out behavior and understand that consensus and compromise is key to growing old together.
For more information about my services please visit my website CouplesCounselorSanDiego.com or contact me at (858) 735-1139