Steps To Change Your Partner’s Bad Habits

Steps To Change Your Partner’s Bad Habits.  Life isn’t perfect and relationships aren’t perfect either.  Some couples choose to live together and some of us get married.  Throughout the duration of that union situations come up that trigger our personal issues that have nothing to do with us as individuals but create huge arguments between the bond, nonetheless.  Examples include leaving that toilet seat up when women want it down, leaving your shoes lying around the house, not replacing a new roll of toilet paper, etc.

If left without tools to successfully resolve these annoying conflicts our relationship can go into a downhill spiral where more effort will be needed to get it to a better place.  These everyday household behaviors can contribute significantly to a couple’s intimacy, therefore promoting good communication, a sense of closeness, and commitment.  To change

learn how to do a Behavior Change Request Dialogue.  It’s important to maintain connection as you express your frustrations and desires.  You can help to make this happen by stating your intentions to stay connected and by expressing mutual appreciation before you start the process.

1.  State frustrating behavior.  What I am frustrated about is when you are late and don’t call.

2.  My feeling.  Then I feel angry and sad.

3.  My story.  When this happens the story I tell myself is that you don’t care about me.

4.  My reactive behavior.  Then I react with sulking.

5.  My fear.  What scares me about this is that you don’t love me anymore.

6.  My childhood memory.  It reminds me of when my mom forgot to pick me up from school.

7.  My global desire.  I want to feel important to you all the time.

When your partner understands what it means to you whenever they are experiencing your bad habits they have a better understanding of what is really going on for you and not think it’s a power struggle or control issue.  In couples counseling I help people acquire the necessary tools to effective communicate to one another to eliminate power struggles and keep harmony with their relationship.  For more information on changing your partner’s bad habits please contact me at (858) 735-1139.

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