Strategies For Making An Asperger Marriage Work

Strategies For Making An Asperger Marriage Work. Just like anything else, if you want a favorable outcome put a system in place that includes acquiring communication tools, implementation of a process using those tools, and an open mind putting in the effort. In my own neurodiverse marriage I have done just that. As a certified neurodiverse couples counselor/coach I put individualized systems in place where moving forward is possible. Traditional marriage counseling is not effective and can sometimes be detrimental for good prognosis. Strategies can help build meaningful relationships and develop emotional connectedness so communication is less transaction and more relational.

Strategies For Making An Asperger Marriage Work

14 Strategies courtesy of Asperger/Autism Network (AANE)

  • Pursuing a diagnosis or profile to acknowledge/appreciate characteristics or traits
  • Accepting the diagnosis to the degree that it helps partners to continue to seek information
  • Staying motivated
  • Understanding how AS impacts the individual
  • Managing depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder
  • Self-exploration and self-awareness
  • Creating a Relationship Schedule
  • Meeting each other’s sexual needs
  • Bridging parallel play
  • Coping with sensory overload and meltdowns
  • Expanding Theory of Mind
  • Improving communication
  • Co-parenting strategies
  • Managing expectations and suspending judgment

Strategies For Making An Asperger Marriage Work

All of the steps and strategies described can be addressed in neurodiverse couples counseling. In my own marriage these strategies help both my AS husband and myself gain awareness of our own individual patterns of behavior, and learn how they can make both attitudinal and behavioral adjustments to get more out of our relationship. As a neurodiverse couples counselor, I facilitate conversations and help both partners learn better communication skills. I addition, I help couples brainstorm, strategize, connect emotionally, and problem-solve around sensory integration issues, meltdowns, and co-morbid conditions such as anxiety and depression, as well as talk about sexual needs.


While many of the issues and challenges that some couples in an AS marriage face can seem similar, it is important to remember that every individual with AS is different, and each marriage unique. Not all of these strategies will be equally effective for or apply to everyone. Each couple has to brainstorm and trouble-shoot their marriage based on what works for their unique situation and needs. As in any marriage, the key practices for anyone seeking a happy and loving relationship are awareness, understanding, compassion, connection, respect, passion, and trust.


For more information about making your asperger marriage work contact me at or call me at (858) 735-1139.






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