Stress Free Valentine’s Day Tips

Stress free Valentine’s Day tips.  As a Marriage Counselor, I’ve noticed some married couples tend to downplay Valentine’s Day.  It could be because they’ve been married for so long they may unknowingly be taking each other for granted.  Perhaps that’s one of the reasons they are receiving counseling. When talking to the men in my practice they say Valentine’s Day is a very stressful Holiday for them. Plans they have made or gifts they have given in the past were unappreciated or criticized and sometimes they feel they can never get it right. Women say their partners don’t care for all that “lovey dovey” stuff and just want sex.  Seems we’ve lost the sentiment of what Valentine’s Day is all about being so commercialized taking away the simplicity of what it is intended to represent. If you’re in a neurodiverse marriage, Valentine’s Day and other holidays are big stressors for the person on the Autism Spectrum. Discuss expectations and be explicit rather than implicit about plans.

Stress Free Valentine’s Day Tips

It’s a celebration of Love.  Love shouldn’t stress you out.  If it does take a moment to slow down, be mindful (stay in the moment), and refocus. Turn the day into an opportunity to look at your relationships in a new way.  Valentine’s Day is a reminder to show appreciation for the people we care most about.  And it can be a day to do something special for yourself too.

A stressful Valentine’s Day can look like this:  Buying expensive roses that you can’t really afford. Spending money on a card that cost $8.00 and a box of chocolates at $25+.  Dinner reservation where everywhere in town cost double or triple.  You rush home from work to get to that reservation.  Get redressed so you look refreshed.  Hit traffic.  Pay for parking.  Stay out late.  May or may not have sex. End the evening late.  Work the next day.  Tired.
Stress Free Valentine’s Day Tips
A more joyful and relaxed Valentine’s Day can look like this:
  • Give something thoughtful, personalized, and meaningful to someone you care about. A hand written note with a list of things you appreciate and are thankful for about those loved ones. It shows you are paying attention and care.
  • You can’t go wrong with candy.
  • Flowers given the day before or after, as pricing is reasonable.
  • If you want to do the dinner thing, the day before or day after always makes for a stress-free evening as there are fewer crowds and the pricing is reasonable.
  • Most importantly talk about Valentine’s Day expectations.
Being married for 23 years Valentine’s Day can tend to be just another day for me, as well. In the past, I planned a special dinner for friends and relatives of those with no significant other as some became widowed or had recent breakups. I thanked them for their friendship and told them something about them I appreciated. They left with happy memories of stories from our past and party favors to reflect the evening which included chocolates and handwritten Valentine’s Day cards. The event not only made me and my family members happy it brought joy to our guest and made for a wonderful celebration of love.
If you’d like more information about how to make your Valentine’s Day a more enjoyable experience please call me at (858) 735-1139.


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