Would You Stay If Your Husband Cheated?

Would You Stay If Your Husband Cheated?  Finding out your husband has cheated on you is about the worst pain and heartache that comes from such a betrayal.  If you’ve ever been cheated on you know that feeling of devastation when you first find out as your heart starts to race, you experience difficulty in breathing, and you feel as afraid as you are angry. Your head tells you to leave but your heart tells you to stay.  Your family and friends take your side as they try to comfort you, but offer little help as they encourage you to leave as they state you can’t trust a cheater and cheaters never change.  But is that always the case?

Would You Stay If Your Husband Cheated?

These days about 65% of couples stay together after an affair.  That’s two-thirds of all couples who discover some form of infidelity, whether emotional or sexual. Many of those relationships not only survive but do better in the long run after affair recovery as they are forced to look at their relationship issues and move forward developing a New Monogamy or a new relationship that works better than the former. People who’ve been betrayed need to know that there’s no shame in staying in the marriage.

In my 25 years of working with couples, I have found that couples who choose to recover from and rebuild after infidelity often end up with a stronger, more loving and mutually understanding relationship than they had previously. Three goals make staying together a possibility if both work toward creating something new between the two of them moving forward:

  1. Move toward Empathy rather than Forgiveness.
  2. Be completely honest.  What do you have to lose at this point. There could be a Silver Lining, as relationship you’ve always wanted.
  3. Find a support system.  A therapist who specializes in Affair Recovery and Infidelity.

Recovering from infidelity is hard work and the process cannot be rushed. Many of my clients have shared that had it not been for their husband’s affair, they’d never have looked at, discussed, and healed some of the underlying issues that were broken at the foundation of their relationship. Rather than destroying the marriage, the affair acted as a catalyst for positive changes.

For more information on how to divorce your old marriage and start anew with a relationship that is more honest and loving contact at (858) 735-1139  to start developing gaining the insight and self-awareness that will give you the capacity to change your relationship.