When Are People Most Likely To Cheat?

When Are People Most Likely To Cheat? There appears to be a rise in infidelity with social media and a plethora of dating/hookup sites available at a click of a switch or a swipe of a hand.  Men and women cheat for many different reasons. Some men are looking for friendships in affairs while some women are looking for affection and vice versa.  As a Marriage Counselor and Affair Recovery Specialist, I’ve come to believe people cheat because sometimes it’s just easier to be different with a different person.  There are many facets of our selves. Infidelity keeps some of those facets alive when others have become numb. There are signs that indicate whether or not a partner is cheating. We often associate summer with flings and fun, but new data shows it’s also the season for something a little more sinister, like the most popular time for cheating.

When Are People Most Likely To Cheat?

When Are People Most Likely To Cheat? Time of year is one sign.  According to Daniel Kruger, evolutionary psychologist, there is a surge in cheating during the summer months as warmer weather enables people to socialize more.  With more exposure to the sun there is an increased level of serotonin where people feel happier.

With sun exposure during those summer months people tend to feel more confident making it easier to kick start the decision to start an affair, allowing them to feel better about their decision. Dr. Kruger states, “increased chances to be unfaithful” during summer months enables the rise of affairs to the fact that people are generally more social in warmer weather.

Travelling makes for possible high risk to cheat.  Being away from your partner makes for convenience and access to having an affair.  Business trips can be stressful and finding a partner for a one night stand is not unusual.

Disharmony within the primary relationship can make infidelity more of a reality than a fantasy.  When couples don’t feel emotionally or physically connected a third person can become a substitute for that loss.

Many people cheat so they can remain in their relationship/marriage.  The reasoning being they want to keep their family together.  Not all people who engage in affairs are disgruntled in their relationship.  Some people just want to feel something different or manage a non physical or emotional disconnect.

For information about when people are more likely to cheat  contact me at (858) 735-1139.

Why Men Cheat

Why Men Cheat.  Some real reasons why men cheat have been revealed in a survey by Dr. Gary Neuman asking the question how much do you know about infidelity and Why Do Men Cheat?  Fifteen questions were surveyed and the following answers came up regarding unfaithful husbands and cheating:


1.   Over 50 million men are currently cheating on their wives in the United States.

2.   50% of cheating husbands have multiple affairs.

3.   10% of cheating husbands say their marriages have absolutely nothing to do with their cheating.

4.   10% tell their wives they’ve cheated without being questioned.

5.   50% never admit to cheating.

6.   1/3 say they never feel guilty about cheating on their wives.

7.   The number one signal that a husband is cheating or on the road to cheating is more time spent away from home.

8.   10% say they cheat because they are predominantly unhappy with their sex lives.

9.   10% say their wives’ looks are the number one cause of sexual dissatisfaction in the relationship.

10.  10% say their mistresses are better looking or have better bodies than their wives.

11.  10% met their mistresses on the Internet.

12  The number one reason husbands say they feel emotional dissatisfaction is they feel unappreciated or their wives are not thoughtful or caring.

13.  The average U.S. couple spends about 10 minutes talking to each other on a daily basis.

14.  75% of cheating husbands have close friends who also cheat.

15.  Over 50% of cheating husbands witnessed their fathers cheat on their mothers.

Reasons Why Men Cheat:

Feels neglected

Boosts their ego

Grows apart; Fallen out of love

Argues a lot

Loss of attraction

Sex life is bad


Exciting and New

As it appears 92% of men said it wasn’t primarily about the sex.  The majority said it was about an emotional disconnection, specifically a sense of feeling underappreciated and a lack of thoughtful gestures.  Men are just as emotional beings as females.  They just don’t look like it or seem like it as they don’t often share their emotions and tell us that.  Men take on the daily worries of paying the bills, taking care of their wives and children and other household responsibilities.  It’s very easy for couples to drift away from appreciating one another.  Men can appear strong, capable and powerful, but deep down they are insecure like everyone else.  They are looking to be valued and built up as they feel the pressures of having to provide.

Of course, there is no excuse or justification for cheating.  And by no means is any wife to be blamed for her husband’s adulterous acts.  It is recommended that wives be more forthcoming with their praise of their husbands and tell him that you appreciate what he does.  Men and women get married because they want one person in the entire world to really think we’re wonderful for doing all the things that we do.  We all want the same thing.  The more we give the more we want in return.

Your marriage doesn’t have to fall into this category. Call me at (858) 735-1139 and we can certainly talk more about what you can put in place so your marriage is protected from the above statistics.






Are You Cheating?

Are You Cheating? Do you have a dirty little secret you’ve been hiding from your partner? Have you been sneaking around and covering your tracks?  Maybe you’re caught up in an unquenchable love affair with designer handbags or it’s your partner who’s totally embedded in gambling.  If you’re living in fear of each other’s credit card bills, it may be a case of Financial Infidelity.

People tend to say your relationship with money is directly related to your personal relationship with each other.  Whether it’s a secret debt, undisclosed extra income, or out of control spending, once it’s discovered financial infidelity can be just as devastating to your partner as Sexual Infidelity.  Your sense of trust is just as violated and, just like an affair, you try to go back in time, recounting all the secretive behavior going on right under your nose.

To give you a better idea of how easy it is to fall into this trap here are a few examples of risky reasoning that can lead to financial cheating:

  • “I deserve it.” Feeling entitled to splurge on something you can’t afford to make up for a bad day at work or because your partner didn’t/won’t buy it for you.
  • “Keeping up with the Joneses.”  Materialism being a priority over intimacy and wanting to keep up the life you “believe” you should have…rather than the one you can afford.
  • “It’s my only real pleasure.”  Using buying and spending to fulfill unmet needs.

Just like Sexual Infidelity the recovery process is the same.  Trust has been broken and to reconnect and move forward both need to take responsibility for their actions. Marriage Counseling can help with the Repair process as the betrayal includes similar emotions.  Couples Therapy enables both partners to share their thoughts, feelings and perspectives about what caused their acting out behaviors and discuss new ways to prevent their relationship from moving toward the relationship they truly want.

If you think you have cheated this way or the other contact me at (858) 735-1139.