Couples and Valentine's Day Archives

Valentine’s Day Marriage Proposal Expectations. Here it is, Valentine’s Day. You’ve been dating for over a “decent period” of time now. You know each other well enough and you know she wants you to take the next step. So what are you waiting for?!

Valentine’s Day Marriage Proposal Expectations

As a Marriage Counselor, I see many couples shortly after Valentine’s Day. They come in for either pre-marital counseling because they just got engaged or they come in because the woman who has been dating her guy for this “decent period” of time didn’t get asked “the question” and there’s a huge bump in the road. Couples come into counseling to talk about the reasons that prevent them from taking the next step and look at options including whether to stay or go. Marriage Proposal Expectations On Valentine’s Day.

When I was dating my second husband I was 39 years old and a single parent with a 9-year-old daughter. After 6 months we went to San Francisco for Valentine’s Day weekend. I naturally assumed this would be the time he would propose. As wonderful as the trip had been there was no proposal and I was a bit surprised. I contained my emotions but did communicate my disappointment as, again, I had thought we had gone through that “decent period” of time and knew we wanted to move our relationship to the next step. We had just moved in together after 6 months, both had been married once before, and being very practical I thought that moving forward in marriage was the next logical step.

After several discussions where we both shared our thoughts, feelings and any concerns, we acknowledged we did want to move forward and he did happily propose as he said he was planning on doing so in the next few months. Valentine’s Day Marriage Proposal Expectations. We’ve been married now over 20 years.

Not all couples in this situation have a happy ending. If you are expecting a marriage proposal from your guy for all of your good reasons it would be good to have a dialogue about it with him sooner rather than later. When Valentine’s Day comes and goes and you don’t get that proposal you’ll most likely be consumed with a range of emotions. It would be inappropriate and not very attractive to “act out” those emotions as it can threaten the relationship and you might not ever get that proposal.

If you are a man who knows your gal expects a marriage proposal and you aren’t ready or wanting to go to the next step, same recommendation. Have a dialogue with her about your feelings sooner rather than later. And, by the way, if you don’t ever intend on getting married please tell her. She deserves to know so she can make a thoughtful decision on whether or not she wants to continue to date you.

If any of you fall under either of these categories and need help during this period of time please contact me at (858) 735-1139. If you’re in a relationship that has passed its expiration date and need help in knowing what to do next please do not hesitate to contact me.

Couples and Valentine’s Day What To Do And What Not To Do. Valentine’s Day is that special time where lovers have the opportunity to express their fond felt emotions toward one another. Marriage Counseling brings about many discussions about disappointing Valentine’s Days. Often times expectations aren’t met and emotions come up that need to be shared so individuals can know what to expect for future event planning.

Couples and Valentine’s Day What To Do And What Not To Do:

1. Forgetting About The “Day”

Acknowledge the day. The world around us will be surrounding ourselves with pink hearts, red roses, and chocolate candy. Don’t make your partner feel left out. Validate their existence and show how they make you feel during this day of Love.

2. Just Showing Up At A Restaurant

Make sure you have a dinner reservation.Valentine’s Day is the busiest night of the year. If you don’t have a reservation you chance not getting into a restaurant of your choice or can wait over an hour to be seated which isn’t very romantic, shows poor planning on your part, and makes for an unpleasant evening.

3. Having Other Engagements

Keep your calendar clear that day. Even if you plan on working for just a few more minutes on a project, you can run into a time crunch and become late for your evening plans and create unhappy feelings toward your partner. Eliminate any risk of things that could interfere with a successful outcome.

4. Avoiding Discussion About Overwhelming Gifts

Even though you may feel strongly about your loved one, especially if you are still in the “New Love Phase” of your relationship, it would be good to talk about appropriate gifts of affection so that one partner doesn’t go overboard when the other may plan on doing something simple. This eliminates any embarrassment, hurt feelings or awkwardness because one of you is feeling like what they contributed wasn’t enough. Even if the day is a surprise, it would be good to talk beforehand, in terms of a general feel about your Valentine’s Day plans. That way both can of you can enjoy the experience and eliminate unhappy or guilty feelings.

5. Buying into Marketing Messages

You don’t have to spend tons of money to show your love and affection. It’s not about getting the biggest bouquet of flowers or most expensive box of candy. Even jewelry doesn’t have to send you over your credit limit. It’s about showing your loved one behaviorally, what they mean to you. Enhance the experience by expressing thankfulness and appreciation, as well, as you spend your special time together.

And remember love and romance isn’t just for Valentine’s Day….keep the “in-love” behavior ongoing and you’ll continue to feel like being “in-love.”

If you want to learn more about how to do that, call me now at (858) 735-1139.