Lucid Dreams Can Make Your Day

Lucid Dreams Can Make Your Day.  As a Marriage Counselor, I work with couples who want to enhance their relationship. I utilize many techniques within the field of psychotherapy to do just that.  As every couple is different and has their own unique circumstances for moving forward I add other methods to this process.  Incorporating fantasies or at least having a dialogue about a fantasy can make for very hot sex between you and your partner.lucid dreamsI’m entering my 20th year of marriage.  I completed nine years of my first marriage.  I have been working with couples for over 23 years.  After the honeymoon period, relationships can become routine, and as some of my clients say….boring.  As a married Marriage Counselor I understand relationships and the ebbs and flows we experience throughout the years. Because relationships can become mundane at times it doesn’t mean we stop loving our partners.  Novelty tends to bring about interest and talking about situations that pertain to sex and fantasies is a sure fire way to ignite excitement. We all want to feel excited every now and then.  It’s fun and keeps life interesting.  It fuels us out of bed to go work and want to maintain our responsibilities.

Sharing fantasies is one tool that helps transform sexual relationships.  The feelings that are generated through the discussion about fantasies or in this case dreams are magical.  On 12/4/2017:

lucid dreams

I had the most romantic lucid dream last night.  I was walking around what appeared to be a hotel lobby. Went snooping around several floors not knowing what I’d find.  Ended up seeing a friend who I have a deep crush on who was sleeping in an open area.  He was on his stomach.  He woke up, lifted his head and saw me staring at him.  In my haste, I ran out of the area a little embarrassed and hide by a coffee/snack shop.  He found me rather quickly.  The cashier greeted him and obviously knew him.  Asked him if he needed anything.  As he moved toward me he picked me up in his arms and replied…..”no all I need is Sarah.”  Then we locked eyes and had the most intimate open mouth kiss.

I woke up feeling happy and energized.  I’m not a morning person so I was pretty nice to everyone in the household, including my Silky Terrier….LOL.  That evening I shared my dream with my husband, who is the most understanding man. He smiled and said, “wow, that’s pretty good!” You can imagine what transpired that evening.

The point of the story is in healthy relationships sharing fantasies can generate sexual energy if done in the context of a helpful tool. There is a learning curve to understanding how to do this.  For more information on how please contact me at (858) 735-1139.



Top Fantasies For Men And Women

Top Fantasies For Men And Women. It can be scary sharing fantasies as doing so makes you vulnerable with the risk-taking of opening yourself up to where you could end up feeling a little bit embarrassed afterward. Sharing fantasies with your partner creates a more connected, more vital and erotic sex life. Even if you’ve been too afraid to share your fantasies, or if you have tried in the past and failed, communicating your fantasies and desires is how you turn up the heat in your sex life. Talking dirty can be hot and it can connect you in bed. But sometimes it can be hard to say out loud what you’re really thinking about.  Again, being vulnerable is not easy and most of us have learned that being honest about expressing our feelings can lead to some negative experiences.  Albeit learning how to reveal your most erotic longings and being able to do the “dirty talk”  will turn you on, turn your partner on and bring you to your most intimate moments together.


As a Marriage Counselor, I work with couples where one or both wants to be able to talk dirty in bed.

FantasiesWorking with my couples, I hear stories about wanting to stretch their sexual experiences with one another.  As a Couples Counselor, I help them initiate conversations about turning their “vanilla sex” (missionary) into hot sex.  Just having a conversation about what they might like to do in bed with each other stimulates an arousal for eroticism.  The anticipation makes for more lust and their sex life is less routine and boring.

 According to the top Female Fantasies:
  1. BDSM – Female Dominating over Male

  2. BDSM – Male Dominating over Female

  3. Teacher – Student

  4. Sex with a Stranger

  5. Threesome with a Female

  6. Threesome with a Male

  7. Voyeurism

  8. Force Fantasies – Women being taken

  9. Exhibitionism

  10. Private Dancer

According to top Male Fantasies:

  1. Oral

  2. Threesome

  3. Cheating

  4. Cleavage Sex

  5. Sex in the car while driving

  6. Sex on a Tropical Island

  7. Voyeurism

  8. Sex with Strangers

  9. Watching partner masturbate

  10. Submit to a Dominant Woman

Talking about fantasies most always stimulates the imagination.  Couples don’t necessarily have to act out all the fantasies they talk about but having a dialogue about them certainly, makes for more creativity in and out of the bedroom.

For more information on how to get the sex you want please contact me at (858) 735-1139




Sharing Fantasies With Your Partner

Sharing Fantasies With Your Partner.  Studies indicate couples who regularly indulge in sharing and/or acting out their fantasies with one another tend to have a solid, happy and pleasurable relationship.  Sharing your fantasies with your partner is a healthy step in creating a long-lasting and passionate relationship.  It’s important to develop your own erotic and sexual self.  At some point in your relationship, you may feel drawn to share more of yourself with your partner as your own sexual self-esteem and self-confidence increases.  Creating a trusting union happens when you each can trust that you can share your deepest and most authentic desires with one another.

Sharing Fantasies

All warm-blooded creatures have sex.  What separates us from the animal kingdom is our capacity to eroticize sex.  We use our minds and bodies to have sex.  We use our imagination to create erotic scenes and fantasies to fuel our passion.  Imagination has no bounds.  Fantasizing doesn’t mean you actually have to act on any of the things you fantasize about.  Erotic imagination includes three things:  curiosity, fantasy, and erotic action. Within the spectrum of fantasies is the way power is distributed.  Whether you are submissive or dominant, receptive or directive. As couples talk about their fantasies remember that anything is normal and there are no judgments or criticisms of them. Erotic curiosities about someone or something doesn’t necessarily mean you fantasize about these things as much as they can just be passing thoughts.

As a Marriage Counselor, I help my couples talk about their fantasies and have them normalize the process where there are no judgments or criticisms of them.  Erotic curiosities about someone or something doesn’t necessarily mean you fantasize about these things as much as they can just be passing thoughts.  The conversation initiates a sexual arousal that can translate in and out of the bedroom. Fantasies are thoughts and pictures in your mind that may include people or scenarios that turn you on.  Sometimes these fantasies are shared with your partner other times they are kept secret. These fantasies can come to mind when masturbating or having sex with your partner.  When fantasies stay on a fantasy level they can serve as erotic energy and fuel your sexual relationship. If you want to take your fantasies into reality and make them happen it is important to clarify with your partner which of those fantasies you actually want to act out.

Sharing Fantasies

In Marriage counseling, one way to explore your fantasies is to begin to explore the things you are curious about.  Whether curious about ways to pleasure one another, oral sex, different positions, bondage, watching pornography, same-gender sex, orgasms, etc., talk about and see how you feel about the topic. The higher the level of curiosity the more likely you or your partner will have a fantasy about the erotic thought.  The conversation alone will present as hot and bring much energy and fuel into the relationship.  Raising the heat and passion between you spices up your sex life creating more arousal and desire.

Fantasies are a way to create an erotic connection between you and your partner.  It is healthy and can create a long-lasting and passionate relationship for ongoing erotic energy to make for great sex and lovemaking.  Continuing to communicate and expand your desires and create a trusting relationship happens when each of you can share your deepest and most authentic desires.  Being able to be vulnerable is being able to take risks in sharing thoughts and feelings.  Taking risks makes for developing and creating a deeper level of intimacy.

Sharing Fantasies

In Marriage Counseling you acquire the tools to do just that.  For more information on talking about how to share your fantasies with your partner please give me a call at (858) 735-1139.