Sharing Fantasies With Your Partner. Studies indicate couples who regularly indulge in sharing and/or acting out their fantasies with one another tend to have a solid, happy and pleasurable relationship. Sharing your fantasies with your partner is a healthy step in creating a long-lasting and passionate relationship. It’s important to develop your own erotic and sexual self. At some point in your relationship, you may feel drawn to share more of yourself with your partner as your own sexual self-esteem and self-confidence increases. Creating a trusting union happens when you each can trust that you can share your deepest and most authentic desires with one another.
All warm-blooded creatures have sex. What separates us from the animal kingdom is our capacity to eroticize sex. We use our minds and bodies to have sex. We use our imagination to create erotic scenes and fantasies to fuel our passion. Imagination has no bounds. Fantasizing doesn’t mean you actually have to act on any of the things you fantasize about. Erotic imagination includes three things: curiosity, fantasy, and erotic action. Within the spectrum of fantasies is the way power is distributed. Whether you are submissive or dominant, receptive or directive. As couples talk about their fantasies remember that anything is normal and there are no judgments or criticisms of them. Erotic curiosities about someone or something doesn’t necessarily mean you fantasize about these things as much as they can just be passing thoughts.
As a Marriage Counselor, I help my couples talk about their fantasies and have them normalize the process where there are no judgments or criticisms of them. Erotic curiosities about someone or something doesn’t necessarily mean you fantasize about these things as much as they can just be passing thoughts. The conversation initiates a sexual arousal that can translate in and out of the bedroom. Fantasies are thoughts and pictures in your mind that may include people or scenarios that turn you on. Sometimes these fantasies are shared with your partner other times they are kept secret. These fantasies can come to mind when masturbating or having sex with your partner. When fantasies stay on a fantasy level they can serve as erotic energy and fuel your sexual relationship. If you want to take your fantasies into reality and make them happen it is important to clarify with your partner which of those fantasies you actually want to act out.
In Marriage counseling, one way to explore your fantasies is to begin to explore the things you are curious about. Whether curious about ways to pleasure one another, oral sex, different positions, bondage, watching pornography, same-gender sex, orgasms, etc., talk about and see how you feel about the topic. The higher the level of curiosity the more likely you or your partner will have a fantasy about the erotic thought. The conversation alone will present as hot and bring much energy and fuel into the relationship. Raising the heat and passion between you spices up your sex life creating more arousal and desire.
Fantasies are a way to create an erotic connection between you and your partner. It is healthy and can create a long-lasting and passionate relationship for ongoing erotic energy to make for great sex and lovemaking. Continuing to communicate and expand your desires and create a trusting relationship happens when each of you can share your deepest and most authentic desires. Being able to be vulnerable is being able to take risks in sharing thoughts and feelings. Taking risks makes for developing and creating a deeper level of intimacy.
In Marriage Counseling you acquire the tools to do just that. For more information on talking about how to share your fantasies with your partner please give me a call at (858) 735-1139.