Asperger’s Or Narcissism. Asperger’s Can Feel Like You’re Living With An A**hole. “Ass”perger’s, is what I refer to when I’m consumed with a range of emotions where I inappropriately “act out.” Underlying emotions include disappointment, hurt, sadness and frustration. Asperger’s, is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by significant difficulties in social interaction and nonverbal communication, along with restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior and interests. Asperger’s and Narcissism are two totally separate and unrelated, spectrums. Both involve hard wiring that cannot be fixed. It is unlikely, for an individual to be both autistic and narcissistic. Asperger’s does not inherently involve traits such as intentional deception with the intent to confuse and diminish a partner for the purpose of controlling and manipulating.
Asperger Or Narcissism
Asperger’s Or Narcissism
On some level my mother-in-law knew there was something odd about her little boy but did nothing to pursue any kind of diagnosis. Come to find out, from my husband, his older brother (4 years older) was on the spectrum. He noticed his brother would rock from side to side each night….soothing himself to sleep. He didn’t think much of it as a child, but as he has accepted and appreciates his unofficial diagnosis he believes his brother was in fact on the spectrum, as well. His brother died at the age of 42 as a result of an aircraft accident. I never knew him. My husband shares information about his brother that leads me to believe he had Asperger’s. His brother was a highly intelligent and high functioning individual. He was brilliant in the field of Organic
Chemistry. He had high aspirations of becoming an astronaut and politician. His Asperger’s hindered him from obtaining his Ph.D as his temperament was challenging to his doctorate program evaluators.
BEING AUTISTIC DOESN’T MAKE YOU A JERK but the odd behavior can appear like they are clueless and socially inept. Asperger’s Can Feel Like You’re Living With An Asshole
Asperger’s behavior could look like Asshole behavior:
- If you think you’re better than other people or don’t care about their feelings, you’re just a jerk.
- If you continually point out that you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re just a jerk.
- If you insist that other people adapt themselves to you at all times, instead of compromising or making any effort to adapt yourself, you’re a jerk and manipulative and possibly toxic to those around you.
- If you live in a black and white world and anyone who sees a little grey gets a verbal slap from you, you’re a jerk.
- If you always have to be right because you can’t admit to being wrong or less than fully informed, you’re an insufferable jerk.
- If you think being smarter than someone gives you the right to be mean to them, belittle them, or ignore their humanity, you’re an asshole.
Asperger’s Can Feel Like You’re Living With An Asshole
Life with my husband can look like some of the above. There are days when I am beside myself and call him an asshole but reframe and say it’s asshole behavior. Because I know he is not unkind, thoughtless, or stupid I can appreciate his efforts in trying to interact with me. Life with an Asperger’s husband is just as challenging as when there is a physical handicap. Bottom line, a successful life with a man on the spectrum includes putting a system in place, acquiring tools, and learning a process in which to become more relational. There’s a learning curve. It’s not easy, but what do you have to lose? You get what you put into anything that is worth having.
For more information please contact me at (858) 735-1139 or through my website CouplesCounselorSanDiego.com