Are You With An Emotionally Unavailable Partner?

Are You With An Emotionally Unavailable Partner?  These kinds of relationships are unhealthy and after dating someone who is emotionally unavailable you begin to feel like you are going crazy.  You start to blame yourself as you are constantly being blamed.  Their reality isn’t reality.  There’s some gaslighting going on to maintain their reality.

Examples of partners who are emotionally unavailable:

1.      Beautiful people, unfortunately, sometimes grew up with the message that their looks are everything. They may have difficulty engaging in the mutuality of a sharing relationship because they have learned to search for gratification elsewhere. Time may change this, however.

 2.      Addicts are attracted to a number of different objects (alcohol, drugs, work, food, television, shopping, gambling, sex…), and may not be able to sustain an emotional relationship – not with you, anyway.

 3.      Some partners are more influenced by their overinvolved parent than they are with you. You may be seen as an appendage to the primary relationship – which is with the parent.

 4.      To the intellectualizer, emotions are turbulent and unpredictable. Everything has to be analyzed, quantified and categorized. Control is everything. Sharing feelings within a relationship is seen as dangerous folly.

 5.      A relationship with a person suffering from narcissistic personality disorder is one-sided, in favor of the narcissist. They have a sense of grandiosity, a sense of entitlement, and a lack of empathy – so that they are more interested in self-love than love based on mutual sharing.

 6.      The keeper of secrets probably has some strong boundaries – or walls – in place, and is unable to engage in an emotionally available relationship. If your partner has a private life from which you are excluded, there are probably serious trust issues which undermine the success of a sharing commitment.

7.  A married man or woman.  For obvious reasons.  Their obligations lie within their primary relationship and only offer an illusion of what you truly want.

Marriage counseling is a process in which couples acquire the appropriate skills to work on individual issues and understand how they affect relationship issues.

For more information about emotionally unavailable partners and how to seek healthier relationships please contact me at (858) 735-1139.

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